Today, the Supreme Court will hear on same-sex marriages, and my breastmilk supply is at it's peak! That's right, people. The two go together today, and may actually go together EACH day from now on.
Back a little over two years ago, I was intent on exclusively breastfeeding our first child. All was well (or so I thought) until we went to our daughter's two month wellness and weight check appointment and realized that even though I felt like she had been nursing nonstop, she only gained 3 ounces in a month. To those of you who do not understand this: a newborn should be gaining 1/2 an ounce to an ounce A DAY! I was devastated. I cried in the pediatrician's office. How could this be? I had been feeding her nonstop!!
I was miserable and totally stressed out. Our daughter was off the charts small and I was forced to supplement with formula, which at the time, I said didn't bother me, but it actually really did. I mean, how can you get away from the whole "Breast is Best" philosophy when it's being shoved down your throat during your pregnancy, in the hospital, and once you get your baby home? It's true. Scientific research shows that breastmilk IS BETTER than formula. It's natural and nothing can be better than that. I drudged on and tried to feed her as much breastmilk as I possibly could. It just wasn't enough! The hormones I was on to help repair my poor broken vagina (you can read about that HERE) was taking its toll on my breastmilk supply. I hired a lactation consultant, ate a whole lot of oatmeal, took fenugreek capsules, drank a hell of a lot of water. It wasn't helping. And the stress of it all was making matters worse.
Did I give up? Oh, no I did not. I pumped at work until she was 9 months old and I thought that ANYTHING was better than NOTHING. So she got half breastmilk and half formula. And I just told myself that it didn't matter HOW she gained weight. The important thing was that she was gaining weight and that she was thriving.
Now we are here with a second child and the situation is a much much different one. I literally have so much extra milk that half of it is currently being stored in our neighbor's freezer because our small New York City apartment refrigerator isn't big enough to store it all! The amount of milk I'm producing could, quite possibly, feed another child. So that is what I'm doing.
Last week, on our Brooklyn neighborhood message boards, a male gay couple was looking for donated breast milk for their newly adopted baby. Without hesitation, I emailed the man and told him that I would give him about 150 ounces now, and that I would need to evaluate, but I could probably give him much more in the future. I explained that since I work part time, my infant takes about 10 ounces of milk while I'm away at work, but that I'm pumping approximately 15-18 ounces WHILE I'm at work. So I'm replenishing my freezer stash AND I'm adding 5-8 ounces more each day. So why not give it to a couple who, by nature, is unable to provide breastmilk to a child who needs it?
Breastmilk or formula? Opposite or same-sex marriages? Everyone has a right to have their own family so who are we to decide who can get married and who can not? I guess we'll have to see what the Supreme Court decides today. But I've decided that I'm adding an extra pumping session tonight before I go to sleep. Because that, my friends, is the RIGHT thing to do.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Monday, March 11, 2013
Adjustment
Before we had Adler, we heard so many people say that two children is like having five. My response was always, "Great! We have ONE that already feels like five. How is the second one going to REALLY feel?" If I can say truthfully, the adjustment at home hasn't been too bad. We were expecting the worst at the very beginning, and the worst, well, the worst never really happened.
Maternity leave with Adler couldn't have been better. We have an amazing nanny who we (and Harper) love, and she's been with us since Harper was three months old. She continued to take care of Harper while I was on maternity leave, and I was able to really stay home and bond with our newborn. From the very beginning, even in the hospital, Adler slept through the night. He was so big (reminder: 10 1/2 pounds at birth!!!) that the nurses didn't bother me with middle-of-the-night feedings. I mean, when your newborn (at birth) is the already the size of an average 3 month old, there is really no push to have him gain weight. HA! When we got home from the hospital, there were definitely middle of the night feedings, but it didn't last more than a couple of weeks. He was seriously sleeping 6-8 hours straight from the get-go.
My husband and I practice somewhat of an attachment parenting style. Aside from riding in the car, using the bathroom or making ourselves food, our children were both held constantly as newborns. We literally held them from the time they would wake up in the morning until it was time for us to go to sleep at night. It may not work for most couples, and I know people think we are crazy, but it worked (and continues to work for us). We believe that this style of parenting allows the baby to feel so secure during the day that they sleep through the night.
As my return to work loomed overhead, I knew there was a chance that Adler would not adjust well. He was a much much different newborn than Harper ever was and I just knew he would have a hard time not being cuddled all day long. Our nanny can not (and will not) hold him all day, and I don't expect her to. For some reason, when I went back to work after Harper, she still continued to sleep through the night, but I knew Adler was going to be a different story. I was right. Adler started waking up in the middle of the night the week before I went back to work (as we started to introduce a bottle). It was like he knew.
So here we are at the 4 month mark, and our infant is waking up in the middle of the night - consistently every night. He's not hungry. How can he be when he's 3 1/2 months old and weighs about 16 1/2 pounds!? He's not even waking up crying. He's just waking up with sounds of uneasiness and restlessness. He's waking up because he's lacking that security he was receiving every day for over three months. And we're honestly not sure what to do! We didn't have this issue with Harper.
So while I always SWORE I'd never bring MY baby to bed with us, I lied. When he wakes up at 3am, he comes to bed with us. And I honestly do not care. I was such a stickler about nighttime sleeping with Harper. We did not allow her to sleep in our bed with us and as she got older, I regretted not allowing her to! Adler is just so warm and cuddly and sweet. Look, he won't be sleeping in our bed when he's in high school. So I'm enjoying it now and I'll deal with the next adjustment when the time comes.
Maternity leave with Adler couldn't have been better. We have an amazing nanny who we (and Harper) love, and she's been with us since Harper was three months old. She continued to take care of Harper while I was on maternity leave, and I was able to really stay home and bond with our newborn. From the very beginning, even in the hospital, Adler slept through the night. He was so big (reminder: 10 1/2 pounds at birth!!!) that the nurses didn't bother me with middle-of-the-night feedings. I mean, when your newborn (at birth) is the already the size of an average 3 month old, there is really no push to have him gain weight. HA! When we got home from the hospital, there were definitely middle of the night feedings, but it didn't last more than a couple of weeks. He was seriously sleeping 6-8 hours straight from the get-go.
My husband and I practice somewhat of an attachment parenting style. Aside from riding in the car, using the bathroom or making ourselves food, our children were both held constantly as newborns. We literally held them from the time they would wake up in the morning until it was time for us to go to sleep at night. It may not work for most couples, and I know people think we are crazy, but it worked (and continues to work for us). We believe that this style of parenting allows the baby to feel so secure during the day that they sleep through the night.
As my return to work loomed overhead, I knew there was a chance that Adler would not adjust well. He was a much much different newborn than Harper ever was and I just knew he would have a hard time not being cuddled all day long. Our nanny can not (and will not) hold him all day, and I don't expect her to. For some reason, when I went back to work after Harper, she still continued to sleep through the night, but I knew Adler was going to be a different story. I was right. Adler started waking up in the middle of the night the week before I went back to work (as we started to introduce a bottle). It was like he knew.
So here we are at the 4 month mark, and our infant is waking up in the middle of the night - consistently every night. He's not hungry. How can he be when he's 3 1/2 months old and weighs about 16 1/2 pounds!? He's not even waking up crying. He's just waking up with sounds of uneasiness and restlessness. He's waking up because he's lacking that security he was receiving every day for over three months. And we're honestly not sure what to do! We didn't have this issue with Harper.
So while I always SWORE I'd never bring MY baby to bed with us, I lied. When he wakes up at 3am, he comes to bed with us. And I honestly do not care. I was such a stickler about nighttime sleeping with Harper. We did not allow her to sleep in our bed with us and as she got older, I regretted not allowing her to! Adler is just so warm and cuddly and sweet. Look, he won't be sleeping in our bed when he's in high school. So I'm enjoying it now and I'll deal with the next adjustment when the time comes.
Thursday, March 07, 2013
Preschool
My husband camped out on Tuesday night in low-30 degree weather, not to buy some Justin Timberlake concert tickets, but to register our 2 1/2 year old daughter in to a preschool program beginning in the fall. At 12:45am, he put on three layers of clothing with a heavy winter coat, and packed up our iPad full of television shows, a huge fleece blanket and a Pilates mat (listen, sitting on concrete after an hour is rough) and was on his way.
The school system in New York City is crazy. I'm pretty sure that the majority of young preschool aged children in our neighborhood don't even go to preschool. And it's not because of money, although, that's a problem too. But it's because there are not enough preschools for the amount of children.
Back when Harper was a little over a year old, I started researching preschools in our neighborhood and only came up with a few that were even worth applying to. Yes, I was researching preschools TWO FULL YEARS before she was even able to go. We actually applied for a 2's program on a whim and didn't even get in. During the application process, I had to fill out a "mission statement" like I had done 15 years earlier to apply to college. It was like college all over again. The same anxious feeling I had while I awaited an acceptance letter or a rejection. As I wrote this ridiculous mission statement, I thought to myself, "She is the PERFECT candidate to get in to this preschool!!" The question they wanted me to answer was something along the lines of "How would your child benefit from being involved in such a diverse neighborhood educational environment such as 'so and so' Preschool?". EASY QUESTION!! I wrote about how my father actually GREW UP in the neighborhood we live in (yes, he totally did), and the benefits of having our child learn in an environment in which her Poppy grew up would be amazing! Well, obviously... our answer wasn't good enough. Because a few months later, I got an email (yes, a fucking email... the assholes couldn't even put a 44 cent stamp on an envelope to mail the rejection letter after I paid a $50 application fee) saying our 2 year old didn't get in. They had never even laid eyes on her. So how are they making their decisions? All we put on the application was our address and what we each did for a living. Which, I work in a counsel's office for a well known private university in the city and my husband is a designer and photographer for an advertising agency. Why didn't she get in? When I called to ask this question, they had no answer to give me. They gave me some bullshit response about how the timing was off. Yeah, WHAT?
I know people in Brooklyn that are applying to preschools that cost $33,000 a year. I'm really, REALLY, not kidding. $33,000 for a 3 year old to go to preschool. What's even crazier is that these schools are EXTREMELY competitive. You would think anyone who could afford $33,000 a year to put their child in a preschool would just get in automatically, right? NOPE! Most children don't even get in!!
The preschool we really had our heart set on had a "first come, first served" policy and they didn't begin taking applications until the day after Labor Day for the following year. I knew this an entire year in advance. They specifically stated on their website that they wouldn't even take calls regarding the following year until the day after Labor Day. So in 2011, I marked on my calendar that I needed to apply to this specific preschool the day after Labor Day in 2012. At 9am on Tuesday, September 4th, I was calling and getting information on how to apply. My application and fee was in by noon. And then we waited. We got a call that we had a spot! Next step was to go to an open house to see if the preschool was a right fit for us. We went and loved the director. Next step was to take our daughter to an "open play" where they swear they aren't evaluated, but rather observed to see if they are a good fit for the type of program the preschool provides. Then, our daughter was IN! The step after that was to decide if you wanted the morning program or the afternoon program. Since our daughter takes naps from 1:30pm-3:00pm each day, we knew the morning program would be best. And since most 3 year olds take naps at the same time, EVERYONE wants the morning program. They have 40 children who are "IN" for the academic year - 20 students are in 3 classes in the morning. The other 20 students are in 3 classes in the afternoon. So what this school does is they have a morning where registration takes place and it's "first come, first served". So yes, registration began at 7am. My husband was out there at 1am to register our daughter for preschool. And what's even more shocking is that he was number 15 in line!
When my husband got home in the morning, the first thing I said to lighten the mood was, "I'm sure everyone was soooo jealous that you had a pilates mat! I mean, we were thinking! You were totally prepared!" He busted out laughing and said...."Are you kidding? PEOPLE. HAD. FUCKING. TENTS!" He then explained that other people had full body sleeping bags where the only thing exposed was their face. And I seriously thought my pilates mat was good thinking. Who was I kidding?
But she's in! She's in to start preschool in the fall. She's in the morning program. We. Are. In.
And my husband spend the entire day sleeping yesterday. Beats losing sleep in a few months when she isn't in a program at all.
Right? RIGHT?
The school system in New York City is crazy. I'm pretty sure that the majority of young preschool aged children in our neighborhood don't even go to preschool. And it's not because of money, although, that's a problem too. But it's because there are not enough preschools for the amount of children.
Back when Harper was a little over a year old, I started researching preschools in our neighborhood and only came up with a few that were even worth applying to. Yes, I was researching preschools TWO FULL YEARS before she was even able to go. We actually applied for a 2's program on a whim and didn't even get in. During the application process, I had to fill out a "mission statement" like I had done 15 years earlier to apply to college. It was like college all over again. The same anxious feeling I had while I awaited an acceptance letter or a rejection. As I wrote this ridiculous mission statement, I thought to myself, "She is the PERFECT candidate to get in to this preschool!!" The question they wanted me to answer was something along the lines of "How would your child benefit from being involved in such a diverse neighborhood educational environment such as 'so and so' Preschool?". EASY QUESTION!! I wrote about how my father actually GREW UP in the neighborhood we live in (yes, he totally did), and the benefits of having our child learn in an environment in which her Poppy grew up would be amazing! Well, obviously... our answer wasn't good enough. Because a few months later, I got an email (yes, a fucking email... the assholes couldn't even put a 44 cent stamp on an envelope to mail the rejection letter after I paid a $50 application fee) saying our 2 year old didn't get in. They had never even laid eyes on her. So how are they making their decisions? All we put on the application was our address and what we each did for a living. Which, I work in a counsel's office for a well known private university in the city and my husband is a designer and photographer for an advertising agency. Why didn't she get in? When I called to ask this question, they had no answer to give me. They gave me some bullshit response about how the timing was off. Yeah, WHAT?
I know people in Brooklyn that are applying to preschools that cost $33,000 a year. I'm really, REALLY, not kidding. $33,000 for a 3 year old to go to preschool. What's even crazier is that these schools are EXTREMELY competitive. You would think anyone who could afford $33,000 a year to put their child in a preschool would just get in automatically, right? NOPE! Most children don't even get in!!
The preschool we really had our heart set on had a "first come, first served" policy and they didn't begin taking applications until the day after Labor Day for the following year. I knew this an entire year in advance. They specifically stated on their website that they wouldn't even take calls regarding the following year until the day after Labor Day. So in 2011, I marked on my calendar that I needed to apply to this specific preschool the day after Labor Day in 2012. At 9am on Tuesday, September 4th, I was calling and getting information on how to apply. My application and fee was in by noon. And then we waited. We got a call that we had a spot! Next step was to go to an open house to see if the preschool was a right fit for us. We went and loved the director. Next step was to take our daughter to an "open play" where they swear they aren't evaluated, but rather observed to see if they are a good fit for the type of program the preschool provides. Then, our daughter was IN! The step after that was to decide if you wanted the morning program or the afternoon program. Since our daughter takes naps from 1:30pm-3:00pm each day, we knew the morning program would be best. And since most 3 year olds take naps at the same time, EVERYONE wants the morning program. They have 40 children who are "IN" for the academic year - 20 students are in 3 classes in the morning. The other 20 students are in 3 classes in the afternoon. So what this school does is they have a morning where registration takes place and it's "first come, first served". So yes, registration began at 7am. My husband was out there at 1am to register our daughter for preschool. And what's even more shocking is that he was number 15 in line!
When my husband got home in the morning, the first thing I said to lighten the mood was, "I'm sure everyone was soooo jealous that you had a pilates mat! I mean, we were thinking! You were totally prepared!" He busted out laughing and said...."Are you kidding? PEOPLE. HAD. FUCKING. TENTS!" He then explained that other people had full body sleeping bags where the only thing exposed was their face. And I seriously thought my pilates mat was good thinking. Who was I kidding?
But she's in! She's in to start preschool in the fall. She's in the morning program. We. Are. In.
And my husband spend the entire day sleeping yesterday. Beats losing sleep in a few months when she isn't in a program at all.
Right? RIGHT?
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Best Baby Products to Give and Get
Back three years ago, I was pregnant with my first child. I remember walking into the Union Square Babies 'R Us in New York City feeling so full of anxiety that I literally had to do breathing exercises. I was a soon-to-be parent, and I was a New Yorker! I needed the stuff that was easy to use. I needed the stuff that was convenient. I didn't need a million baby things because we didn't have the room for it all! There I was, struck with panic. So many little gadgets and trinkets. I didn't know what diapers were best, and what type of diaper rash cream to ask for. Would I register for a bouncy seat or a swing? And the clothing! Oh man, the clothing! And the different bottles and blankets and binkies! Whew! It's enough to drive a hormonal pregnant woman (and her husband) mad!
So here we are three years later. We have Harper who is now almost 2 1/2 years old, and we have Adler who is about 12 weeks. The amount of clothing we received for each child before, and shortly after, they were born was just short of ridiculous. Of course, we are grateful for all the generosity, but I have to say that the majority of clothing we received was never worn (and probably never will be worn) because people don't really understand the whole seasonal/sizing thing. And some babies just never wear newborn clothing because they are born at 10 1/2 pounds (like our son was!). Adler will be wearing 12 month clothing in the spring/summer so why do we have 5 sets of fleece sleepers in 12 month size? That's what I'm talking about!
Here I am to tell you THE BEST baby products on the market. Any couple would be super happy to get the items listed below. It's only too bad that we mostly bought these ourselves!
Enjoy our list!
Aden + Anais Muslin Swaddle Blankets.
Back when I was pregnant with Harper, I saw women around Brooklyn with these really cool blankets. They were light. They were airy. They were expensive! "What are these things?" I thought to myself. Who the hell spends $50 on four swaddling blankets?!? Well, listen to me, people. They are perfect for swaddling real tight. They are breathable so I use them as a stroller seat cover when I want the babes to take a nap. THEY ARE THE BEST BLANKETS. Trust me. Spend the money.
Skip Hop Pronto Diaper Changer.
We couldn't live without this thing. New York City is not a kid friendly place. Restaurants and stores do not have diaper changing stations in their bathrooms. And I don't know about you, but I don't want to put my baby on a dirty bathroom floor to change a diaper. Even if there is a diaper changing station, I don't even want to think of the germs on that thing! This gadget unfolds so you can lay your baby down for a diaper change. It also has three different compartments for diapers and creams. It comes with a wipe container. Wah-lah. Easy changing!
Zutano Cozie Baby Booties.
Socks do not stay on newborn baby feet! They just don't. These baby booties do! They look like cute little shoes and they are "cozie" and warm!
Gerber Prefold Birdseye Cloth Diapers.
Don't use them as diapers! Use them as burp cloths! And, I promise you, these are THE BEST burp cloths. Our first child had extreme reflux and these really came in handy.
Aiden + Anais Burpy Bibs.
It's a burp cloth! No, it's a bib! Oh, hell... it's both! I started using these with my second child. They are super long so you can save the front AND the back of your shirt from any spit-up. It has a little neck/shoulder cut out. And it doubles as a bib! Amazing.
Vulli Gnon.
Forget Sophie! Sophie the Giraffe is so 3 years ago! This rubber teether toy is the one to get. The Gnon was created by the same company who made Sophie so it's the same natural rubber. It's super cute! And babies love it.
Baby Einstein Takealong Tunes.
We called this little toy "the boombox". It is the best. Even though our youngest is still a little too young to enjoy it, this thing was my savior with our oldest. It distracted our child during her meltdowns (which was a lot!). If I'm giving a small baby shower gift, THIS is the toy I give. It plays fun music. It lights up. It grabs an infant's attention. AND it's inexpensive!
Jellycat Collection Stuffed Animal.
Trust me when I tell you. These are BY FAR the best stuffed animals to give and get. I've actually thought (a few times) about buying one for myself to put on MY BED to cuddle with. HA! I gave each of my closest friends one of these animals for their children. Our oldest has a medium bunny that is her most favorite stuffed toy. She sleeps with it every single night. They are soft and snugly, and they are just too damn cute!
Fisher-Price Rainforest Jumperoo.
If you have an infant who is four or five months old and you don't have one of these yet, grab your Babies 'R Us coupon (you know, the one you get in the mail every month) and get in your car NOW to buy one. I don't know about your infant, but MY infant (who is now a preschooler) wasn't one to entertain herself. This thing saved my life. I'm really not kidding. Once we got this toy, I was able to start cooking dinner again. Get in your car. NOW.
Munchkin Snack Catcher Snack Dispenser.
This is definitely something you will want once your child is able to pick up finger foods. It is perfect for Cheerios on the go. These things have soft tops so a little hand can reach in and grab a treat without it spilling all over the floor! I have to admit that our preschooler eats her breakfast out of these things every morning while she is sitting watching Sesame Street. This is a MUST HAVE.
Tommee Tippee Explora Sippy Cups.
So while we are talking about the prevention of spilling food, why not talk about the prevention of leaky cups. I've tried many many sippy cups and these are THE BEST. I know, I know, Tommee Tippee, what? But trust me on this one. These things DO NOT LEAK. They don't. They don't. THEY DON'T.
Stokke Tripp Trapp High Chair.
And while we are on the subject of food, why not talk about what to eat the food in. This high chair is amazing. I felt guilty guilty guilty about getting this high chair (expensive!). But now, I'm so happy I did. High chairs are so clunky and ugly. Not to mention, hard to clean! This high chair has a sleek design. There are no nooks or crannies to get between to clean spaghetti sauce. It grows with your child and it looks like a big kid chair.
Fisher-Price Newborn Rock 'n Play Sleeper.
We didn't have this product with our first child, but man, how I wish we did! I promised myself I'd remember this thing for when we had our second. It's amazing. It's compact and small. It's perfect for New York City apartment dwelling. It fits right beside our bed. There is a slight tilt in the seat, so the baby's head is elevated. Perfect for middle-of-the-night feedings where you just want to lay your newborn right back down and not worry about the spit up. There is a slight rocking motion which makes it easier to rock your baby back to sleep.
Boppy Nursing Pillow.
Everyone knows about the boppy! A must for any breastfeeding mother. But also a must for a bottle fed baby! A mother can't go without this thing!
PRIMO’s EuroBath.
We tried quite a few baby tubs before we found this one. I'm not gonna lie, it's big. But it's great! Give this thing as a gift and fill it up with baby supplies! This tub has a perfect tilt, and the bump at the butt is in the perfect position so your infant doesn't slide down.
Burt's Bees Baby Products.
We got so many bath products when our first child was born. Everything from plain old Johnson&Johnson to Aveno - from fancy schmancy Lavanila to Noodle and Boo. While I'd LOVEEEE to use Lavanila every single day for my newborn, it's just too ridiculous to spend that much money! Burt's Bees smells like baby and it's sensitive for skin, hair and eyes. We don't buy anything else.
Uppababy Vista Stroller.
We looked at the Bugaboo with every intention of getting it, but after a lot of research, we decided the Uppababy was a good fit for us. When a couple has a child in New York City, a stroller is by far the most important purchase. It was very important that we get a stroller that will last. With all the walking we do, we knew we needed a stroller that would hold up in crazy winters and horrible sidewalks. We loved the Uppababy, and we still love it. It's such an urban stroller, but when we brought it a little ways down south to Virginia Beach, people were stopping me asking me about it. The frame of the stroller comes with a bassinet (which we used at night for our little one to sleep in!) and a stroller seat. With an adapter, you can click a car seat into the frame also. The basket underneath is massive. And the wheels are like a dream - so smooth, and they are perfect for the Northeastern winters. What's better is the stroller upgrades to a double stroller (with purchase of something called a rumble seat) when you decide to have another baby! We've been using it 2 1/2 years and plan to be using it another 2 1/2. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing.
Pampers Sensitive Swaddlers
We've tried our share of diapers. For a newborn, there is nothing else to say other than, these are the best. It's not fun, but it's a necessity. And diapers, well, diapers are EXPENSIVE!
Desitin Diaper Rash Cream.
We've also tried our share of diaper rash creams. Desitin is the best. It takes the red away almost immediately. I have to say that I can count on one hand how many diaper rashes our first child has had. And it's because we use this stuff! Stock up, you're gonna need it.
White Noise App.
New York City is loud. That is all there is to it. We live off of a main street and there are constantly sounds of alarms, buses, sirens, dogs barking, drunk people walking out of the bar across the street, etc. White noise is essential for a baby. Oh, and this app costs NOTHING! Download it now. Save yourself midnight wake ups from whatever noise there is in your neck of the woods.
Books! Books! Books!
You can never have enough of them. There is no better advice I can give than "Read to your child!". Read as much as you can. You can never read too much. Our 2 1/2 year old is an amazing talker, and I believe it's because we turned off the television for the first two years of her life and we read to her. We read so so much. It's so important. I can't say it enough.
Carter's Onesies.
And if you are just DYING to get something to clothe your child (ha!), this is what you should get. Some super basic, snug fitting, go-with-everything, ONESIES!
There we have it, ladies and gents. Have I missed anything? Please tell me about your favorite products. I'd LOVE to try them. Good luck. And happy baby. xo.
So here we are three years later. We have Harper who is now almost 2 1/2 years old, and we have Adler who is about 12 weeks. The amount of clothing we received for each child before, and shortly after, they were born was just short of ridiculous. Of course, we are grateful for all the generosity, but I have to say that the majority of clothing we received was never worn (and probably never will be worn) because people don't really understand the whole seasonal/sizing thing. And some babies just never wear newborn clothing because they are born at 10 1/2 pounds (like our son was!). Adler will be wearing 12 month clothing in the spring/summer so why do we have 5 sets of fleece sleepers in 12 month size? That's what I'm talking about!
Here I am to tell you THE BEST baby products on the market. Any couple would be super happy to get the items listed below. It's only too bad that we mostly bought these ourselves!
Enjoy our list!
Aden + Anais Muslin Swaddle Blankets.
Back when I was pregnant with Harper, I saw women around Brooklyn with these really cool blankets. They were light. They were airy. They were expensive! "What are these things?" I thought to myself. Who the hell spends $50 on four swaddling blankets?!? Well, listen to me, people. They are perfect for swaddling real tight. They are breathable so I use them as a stroller seat cover when I want the babes to take a nap. THEY ARE THE BEST BLANKETS. Trust me. Spend the money.
Skip Hop Pronto Diaper Changer.
We couldn't live without this thing. New York City is not a kid friendly place. Restaurants and stores do not have diaper changing stations in their bathrooms. And I don't know about you, but I don't want to put my baby on a dirty bathroom floor to change a diaper. Even if there is a diaper changing station, I don't even want to think of the germs on that thing! This gadget unfolds so you can lay your baby down for a diaper change. It also has three different compartments for diapers and creams. It comes with a wipe container. Wah-lah. Easy changing!
Zutano Cozie Baby Booties.
Socks do not stay on newborn baby feet! They just don't. These baby booties do! They look like cute little shoes and they are "cozie" and warm!
Gerber Prefold Birdseye Cloth Diapers.
Don't use them as diapers! Use them as burp cloths! And, I promise you, these are THE BEST burp cloths. Our first child had extreme reflux and these really came in handy.
Aiden + Anais Burpy Bibs.
It's a burp cloth! No, it's a bib! Oh, hell... it's both! I started using these with my second child. They are super long so you can save the front AND the back of your shirt from any spit-up. It has a little neck/shoulder cut out. And it doubles as a bib! Amazing.
Vulli Gnon.
Forget Sophie! Sophie the Giraffe is so 3 years ago! This rubber teether toy is the one to get. The Gnon was created by the same company who made Sophie so it's the same natural rubber. It's super cute! And babies love it.
Baby Einstein Takealong Tunes.
We called this little toy "the boombox". It is the best. Even though our youngest is still a little too young to enjoy it, this thing was my savior with our oldest. It distracted our child during her meltdowns (which was a lot!). If I'm giving a small baby shower gift, THIS is the toy I give. It plays fun music. It lights up. It grabs an infant's attention. AND it's inexpensive!
Jellycat Collection Stuffed Animal.
Trust me when I tell you. These are BY FAR the best stuffed animals to give and get. I've actually thought (a few times) about buying one for myself to put on MY BED to cuddle with. HA! I gave each of my closest friends one of these animals for their children. Our oldest has a medium bunny that is her most favorite stuffed toy. She sleeps with it every single night. They are soft and snugly, and they are just too damn cute!
Fisher-Price Rainforest Jumperoo.
If you have an infant who is four or five months old and you don't have one of these yet, grab your Babies 'R Us coupon (you know, the one you get in the mail every month) and get in your car NOW to buy one. I don't know about your infant, but MY infant (who is now a preschooler) wasn't one to entertain herself. This thing saved my life. I'm really not kidding. Once we got this toy, I was able to start cooking dinner again. Get in your car. NOW.
Munchkin Snack Catcher Snack Dispenser.
This is definitely something you will want once your child is able to pick up finger foods. It is perfect for Cheerios on the go. These things have soft tops so a little hand can reach in and grab a treat without it spilling all over the floor! I have to admit that our preschooler eats her breakfast out of these things every morning while she is sitting watching Sesame Street. This is a MUST HAVE.
Tommee Tippee Explora Sippy Cups.
So while we are talking about the prevention of spilling food, why not talk about the prevention of leaky cups. I've tried many many sippy cups and these are THE BEST. I know, I know, Tommee Tippee, what? But trust me on this one. These things DO NOT LEAK. They don't. They don't. THEY DON'T.
Stokke Tripp Trapp High Chair.
And while we are on the subject of food, why not talk about what to eat the food in. This high chair is amazing. I felt guilty guilty guilty about getting this high chair (expensive!). But now, I'm so happy I did. High chairs are so clunky and ugly. Not to mention, hard to clean! This high chair has a sleek design. There are no nooks or crannies to get between to clean spaghetti sauce. It grows with your child and it looks like a big kid chair.
Fisher-Price Newborn Rock 'n Play Sleeper.
We didn't have this product with our first child, but man, how I wish we did! I promised myself I'd remember this thing for when we had our second. It's amazing. It's compact and small. It's perfect for New York City apartment dwelling. It fits right beside our bed. There is a slight tilt in the seat, so the baby's head is elevated. Perfect for middle-of-the-night feedings where you just want to lay your newborn right back down and not worry about the spit up. There is a slight rocking motion which makes it easier to rock your baby back to sleep.
Boppy Nursing Pillow.
Everyone knows about the boppy! A must for any breastfeeding mother. But also a must for a bottle fed baby! A mother can't go without this thing!
PRIMO’s EuroBath.
We tried quite a few baby tubs before we found this one. I'm not gonna lie, it's big. But it's great! Give this thing as a gift and fill it up with baby supplies! This tub has a perfect tilt, and the bump at the butt is in the perfect position so your infant doesn't slide down.
Burt's Bees Baby Products.
We got so many bath products when our first child was born. Everything from plain old Johnson&Johnson to Aveno - from fancy schmancy Lavanila to Noodle and Boo. While I'd LOVEEEE to use Lavanila every single day for my newborn, it's just too ridiculous to spend that much money! Burt's Bees smells like baby and it's sensitive for skin, hair and eyes. We don't buy anything else.
Uppababy Vista Stroller.
We looked at the Bugaboo with every intention of getting it, but after a lot of research, we decided the Uppababy was a good fit for us. When a couple has a child in New York City, a stroller is by far the most important purchase. It was very important that we get a stroller that will last. With all the walking we do, we knew we needed a stroller that would hold up in crazy winters and horrible sidewalks. We loved the Uppababy, and we still love it. It's such an urban stroller, but when we brought it a little ways down south to Virginia Beach, people were stopping me asking me about it. The frame of the stroller comes with a bassinet (which we used at night for our little one to sleep in!) and a stroller seat. With an adapter, you can click a car seat into the frame also. The basket underneath is massive. And the wheels are like a dream - so smooth, and they are perfect for the Northeastern winters. What's better is the stroller upgrades to a double stroller (with purchase of something called a rumble seat) when you decide to have another baby! We've been using it 2 1/2 years and plan to be using it another 2 1/2. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing.
Pampers Sensitive Swaddlers
We've tried our share of diapers. For a newborn, there is nothing else to say other than, these are the best. It's not fun, but it's a necessity. And diapers, well, diapers are EXPENSIVE!
Desitin Diaper Rash Cream.
We've also tried our share of diaper rash creams. Desitin is the best. It takes the red away almost immediately. I have to say that I can count on one hand how many diaper rashes our first child has had. And it's because we use this stuff! Stock up, you're gonna need it.
White Noise App.
New York City is loud. That is all there is to it. We live off of a main street and there are constantly sounds of alarms, buses, sirens, dogs barking, drunk people walking out of the bar across the street, etc. White noise is essential for a baby. Oh, and this app costs NOTHING! Download it now. Save yourself midnight wake ups from whatever noise there is in your neck of the woods.
Books! Books! Books!
You can never have enough of them. There is no better advice I can give than "Read to your child!". Read as much as you can. You can never read too much. Our 2 1/2 year old is an amazing talker, and I believe it's because we turned off the television for the first two years of her life and we read to her. We read so so much. It's so important. I can't say it enough.
Carter's Onesies.
And if you are just DYING to get something to clothe your child (ha!), this is what you should get. Some super basic, snug fitting, go-with-everything, ONESIES!
There we have it, ladies and gents. Have I missed anything? Please tell me about your favorite products. I'd LOVE to try them. Good luck. And happy baby. xo.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Adler James
Adler James was born on Saturday, November 10, 2012 at 11:22am! Yipppeeee. And his birth story is NOTHING like Harper's. As a matter of fact, NOTHING about Adler is like Harper, except, maybe, well, his hair. He has red hair.
We found out we were pregnant with Adler at 15 weeks and 5 days. How can that be? You may ask. If you haven't already, you can read about the story HERE! Harper was conceived through fertility treatments after we were told that we would probably never be able to get pregnant on our own. Well, WE DID. After thousands of dollars trying to conceive Harper, a little less than two years later, we were pregnant ON OUR OWN.
My pregnancy with Adler was very different than the pregnancy with Harper. With Harper, I was sick. With Adler, I wasn't sick at all. With Harper, I was swollen everywhere. With Adler, I wasn't swollen at all. In fact, I was the unusual "You are ALL belly!" phenomenon. And I really REALLY was.
In the six weeks leading up to having Adler, I became extremely uncomfortable at night. It was impossible to sleep. My belly felt so heavy. SO HEAVY. My doctor didn't think anything of it until I went to my 36-week check up and it seemed Adler was growing a little faster than he should have been. You can read about this more HERE! Tests came back normal so on we went with the pregnancy.
At 38 weeks, New York City decided that it was going to throw us for a loop and give us a major weather disaster known as Hurricane Sandy. We prayed I wouldn't go into labor because, at this point, my doctor thought my due date was probably about a week to 10 days off. The bridges between Brooklyn and Manhattan were shut down and there was no way to get into the city to my hospital. Panic overwhelmed me and I sat on my couch for, literally, 4 days straight only getting up to use the bathroom (yes, I'm serious!). I didn't go into labor, thank God!
However, I did go into labor a day before my due date.
Originally, my doctor thought my due date was November 11th, and there I was in the early early morning of November 10th, very similar to how I went into labor with Harper. I woke up about 4:30am (just like I did with Harper!) having to pee, got back into bed, and the contractions were there. I thought I could maybe doze off for a little while but at 5am, I decided that it was maybe time to get in the shower - oh, and I mentioned to my husband that we should call our nanny to get to our apartment because it was gonna be time to go soon.
I got in the shower about 5:30am. I took a long long shower - because it was giving me relief - and probably stayed in a little too long because a little after 6am, I couldn't get out of the shower by myself. MAYDAY MAYDAY - it's time to call backup! At about 6:15am, we had to wake up our neighbor to come take care of Harper, because, well, there was NO WAY we could wait for our nanny to get to our apartment. The contractions were about 3 minutes apart and we had to get to the Upper West Side from downtown Brooklyn - and we needed to get there FAST!!
And this is where panic set in. Before I knew it, it was about 6:45am, and the cab sped off in front of our apartment as fast as he could. On our way to St. Lukes Roosevelt Hospital on 50-something and 10th Avenue - or is it 11th Avenue - Is there an 11th Avenue? SHIT! Is the hospital on 60-something? And as we were going over the Brooklyn Bridge, I looked over at Charlie and said "We aren't going to make it." I was having the urge to push and then panic REALLY set in "There isn't going to be time for an epidural! Oh God, I'm not ready to have this baby without an epidural!! I'm not prepared! I AM NOT PREPARED!!" At this point, I kept telling Charlie "I am scared. I am scared. Sorry Sorry SORRY! I am scared!" Contractions were about 2 minutes apart. And they were so strong that the minute I had time to breathe, didn't give me much relief!
I somehow got out of the cab in front of the hospital and didn't wait for Charlie to pay the driver. I walked in to the hospital front doors sweating and breathing and trying to contain myself (which wasn't working). People in the waiting room to my right were looking at me like I was going to lay down and have the baby right there in front of them. When the contraction passed, I took a deep breath, went through to the elevators with people clapping behind me. I think I even took a moment to fist pump to gain more support from the spectators. Once we were in the elevator, all hell broke loose. I then REALLY started to think there was no way I was getting an epidural.
Triage. I was in triage with Harper for about 3 hours before I went into labor and delivery. They had time to make me pee in a cup. They had time to set up an IV and monitors and all that stuff. Not this time. I was in there for about 15 minutes. Just enough to get an IV in my arm and check my cervix. I couldn't even get undressed myself. No, really. I couldn't. They put me in a room in triage instead of one of the curtained spaces that most people are put in. As soon as I saw the nurse, I yelled out something like.... "Call anesthesiology NOWWWWWWW!!!!" My labor and delivery nurses met me in triage and this is when I started asking (more like yelling at) them "Tell me the truth, BITCHES! Am I going to get an epidural or not?" (Except I didn't call them bitches. Ok. Maybeeeee I did.)
At one point, I looked up at Charlie and HE was crying. GREAT! Uhhh. I need support here. I'm about to birth a baby without an epidural! I think I asked my nurses about 10 times if I was going to be seeing an anesthesiologist. This was when one of my nurses said "If you don't calm down, they aren't going to give you one. We need to work on breathing." And just like that.... They started to help me with breathing techniques. This went on for what felt like hours. HOURS!!! And I kept looking at Charlie saying... "I'm not getting an epidural. I AM UNPREPARED!! I can't do this without one!" Breathing. Breathing. Looking out the window at clouds. Breathing. Breathing. Looking at Charlie and trying to focus but seeing everything blurry. Breathing Breathing. "WHERE THE FUCK IS THE ANESTHESIOLOGIST?" Ok, I'm going to throw up. I'm really going to throw up. "Why are they asking me questions? NO MORE QUESTIONS!"
Anesthesiology is here! 8cm dilated. Oh, Lord. I'm gonna get an epidural. I'm GONNA. GET. AN. EPIDURAL!
SIGH!!
And here is where I started telling my anesthesiologist that I was literally cursing him but, now, I love him. And I love my nurses. And I love my husband. And I'm so sorry for being a bitch. And now, I was READY TO DO THIS!!
Before I knew it, it was time to start pushing. One push and they could see his head. about two more pushes and the head was out. Now, wait a minute. At this point, Harper was OUT. Totally OUT. Why is this taking more pushes. My obstetrician tells me to stop pushing. WHAT? Oh, God. Is something wrong? More pushes. More pushes. Baby not coming out. But I remain calm. I definitely was NOT calm when I was pushing with Harper (oh, by the way, I pushed with Harper for 3 HOURS!). About 15 minutes of pushing and he was out! The sensation I felt when he was finally out was something I will never be able to explain. In two seconds, I felt like I could breathe again. I felt my stomach literally shrink back to almost-prepregnancy size. WHAT IS THAT FEELING? I didn't have this with Harper! I look down and I'm like... "Wait, what? That does NOT look like a newborn!" My obstetrician says, "This is DEFINITELY NOT an 8 pound baby!" Baby to scale and what does that say? 10 pounds 6 ounces? WHAT? I just pushed a baby out in 15 minutes? A baby that weighs over 10 pounds?? I'm too small to have a 10 1/2 pound baby!!
But I did. And he's here. And the first week has been amazing. He sleeps at night - 6 hours stretches already! Unheard of. He is such a calm newborn baby. When he was in the womb, I told everyone that he wasn't going to be anything like Harper. Harper is my entire world - she is my mini-me. Adler is the other part of my world - he is a mini-Charlie. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
We found out we were pregnant with Adler at 15 weeks and 5 days. How can that be? You may ask. If you haven't already, you can read about the story HERE! Harper was conceived through fertility treatments after we were told that we would probably never be able to get pregnant on our own. Well, WE DID. After thousands of dollars trying to conceive Harper, a little less than two years later, we were pregnant ON OUR OWN.
My pregnancy with Adler was very different than the pregnancy with Harper. With Harper, I was sick. With Adler, I wasn't sick at all. With Harper, I was swollen everywhere. With Adler, I wasn't swollen at all. In fact, I was the unusual "You are ALL belly!" phenomenon. And I really REALLY was.
In the six weeks leading up to having Adler, I became extremely uncomfortable at night. It was impossible to sleep. My belly felt so heavy. SO HEAVY. My doctor didn't think anything of it until I went to my 36-week check up and it seemed Adler was growing a little faster than he should have been. You can read about this more HERE! Tests came back normal so on we went with the pregnancy.
At 38 weeks, New York City decided that it was going to throw us for a loop and give us a major weather disaster known as Hurricane Sandy. We prayed I wouldn't go into labor because, at this point, my doctor thought my due date was probably about a week to 10 days off. The bridges between Brooklyn and Manhattan were shut down and there was no way to get into the city to my hospital. Panic overwhelmed me and I sat on my couch for, literally, 4 days straight only getting up to use the bathroom (yes, I'm serious!). I didn't go into labor, thank God!
However, I did go into labor a day before my due date.
Originally, my doctor thought my due date was November 11th, and there I was in the early early morning of November 10th, very similar to how I went into labor with Harper. I woke up about 4:30am (just like I did with Harper!) having to pee, got back into bed, and the contractions were there. I thought I could maybe doze off for a little while but at 5am, I decided that it was maybe time to get in the shower - oh, and I mentioned to my husband that we should call our nanny to get to our apartment because it was gonna be time to go soon.
I got in the shower about 5:30am. I took a long long shower - because it was giving me relief - and probably stayed in a little too long because a little after 6am, I couldn't get out of the shower by myself. MAYDAY MAYDAY - it's time to call backup! At about 6:15am, we had to wake up our neighbor to come take care of Harper, because, well, there was NO WAY we could wait for our nanny to get to our apartment. The contractions were about 3 minutes apart and we had to get to the Upper West Side from downtown Brooklyn - and we needed to get there FAST!!
And this is where panic set in. Before I knew it, it was about 6:45am, and the cab sped off in front of our apartment as fast as he could. On our way to St. Lukes Roosevelt Hospital on 50-something and 10th Avenue - or is it 11th Avenue - Is there an 11th Avenue? SHIT! Is the hospital on 60-something? And as we were going over the Brooklyn Bridge, I looked over at Charlie and said "We aren't going to make it." I was having the urge to push and then panic REALLY set in "There isn't going to be time for an epidural! Oh God, I'm not ready to have this baby without an epidural!! I'm not prepared! I AM NOT PREPARED!!" At this point, I kept telling Charlie "I am scared. I am scared. Sorry Sorry SORRY! I am scared!" Contractions were about 2 minutes apart. And they were so strong that the minute I had time to breathe, didn't give me much relief!
I somehow got out of the cab in front of the hospital and didn't wait for Charlie to pay the driver. I walked in to the hospital front doors sweating and breathing and trying to contain myself (which wasn't working). People in the waiting room to my right were looking at me like I was going to lay down and have the baby right there in front of them. When the contraction passed, I took a deep breath, went through to the elevators with people clapping behind me. I think I even took a moment to fist pump to gain more support from the spectators. Once we were in the elevator, all hell broke loose. I then REALLY started to think there was no way I was getting an epidural.
Triage. I was in triage with Harper for about 3 hours before I went into labor and delivery. They had time to make me pee in a cup. They had time to set up an IV and monitors and all that stuff. Not this time. I was in there for about 15 minutes. Just enough to get an IV in my arm and check my cervix. I couldn't even get undressed myself. No, really. I couldn't. They put me in a room in triage instead of one of the curtained spaces that most people are put in. As soon as I saw the nurse, I yelled out something like.... "Call anesthesiology NOWWWWWWW!!!!" My labor and delivery nurses met me in triage and this is when I started asking (more like yelling at) them "Tell me the truth, BITCHES! Am I going to get an epidural or not?" (Except I didn't call them bitches. Ok. Maybeeeee I did.)
At one point, I looked up at Charlie and HE was crying. GREAT! Uhhh. I need support here. I'm about to birth a baby without an epidural! I think I asked my nurses about 10 times if I was going to be seeing an anesthesiologist. This was when one of my nurses said "If you don't calm down, they aren't going to give you one. We need to work on breathing." And just like that.... They started to help me with breathing techniques. This went on for what felt like hours. HOURS!!! And I kept looking at Charlie saying... "I'm not getting an epidural. I AM UNPREPARED!! I can't do this without one!" Breathing. Breathing. Looking out the window at clouds. Breathing. Breathing. Looking at Charlie and trying to focus but seeing everything blurry. Breathing Breathing. "WHERE THE FUCK IS THE ANESTHESIOLOGIST?" Ok, I'm going to throw up. I'm really going to throw up. "Why are they asking me questions? NO MORE QUESTIONS!"
Anesthesiology is here! 8cm dilated. Oh, Lord. I'm gonna get an epidural. I'm GONNA. GET. AN. EPIDURAL!
SIGH!!
And here is where I started telling my anesthesiologist that I was literally cursing him but, now, I love him. And I love my nurses. And I love my husband. And I'm so sorry for being a bitch. And now, I was READY TO DO THIS!!
Before I knew it, it was time to start pushing. One push and they could see his head. about two more pushes and the head was out. Now, wait a minute. At this point, Harper was OUT. Totally OUT. Why is this taking more pushes. My obstetrician tells me to stop pushing. WHAT? Oh, God. Is something wrong? More pushes. More pushes. Baby not coming out. But I remain calm. I definitely was NOT calm when I was pushing with Harper (oh, by the way, I pushed with Harper for 3 HOURS!). About 15 minutes of pushing and he was out! The sensation I felt when he was finally out was something I will never be able to explain. In two seconds, I felt like I could breathe again. I felt my stomach literally shrink back to almost-prepregnancy size. WHAT IS THAT FEELING? I didn't have this with Harper! I look down and I'm like... "Wait, what? That does NOT look like a newborn!" My obstetrician says, "This is DEFINITELY NOT an 8 pound baby!" Baby to scale and what does that say? 10 pounds 6 ounces? WHAT? I just pushed a baby out in 15 minutes? A baby that weighs over 10 pounds?? I'm too small to have a 10 1/2 pound baby!!
But I did. And he's here. And the first week has been amazing. He sleeps at night - 6 hours stretches already! Unheard of. He is such a calm newborn baby. When he was in the womb, I told everyone that he wasn't going to be anything like Harper. Harper is my entire world - she is my mini-me. Adler is the other part of my world - he is a mini-Charlie. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Relationships
My husband and I celebrated our 10-year "meet-a-versary" last week. I can't believe it has been 10 years since we met each other in a bar. It seems like yesterday I met him with his tapered high-water gray corduroy pants and massive sideburns.
We had mutual friends who were dating who thought we'd be a good fit for each other. I played games for about a month - said I'd go to meet him, but wouldn't show up. On the 22nd of October, 2002, I decided I would go out and maybe he'd be there, or maybe he wouldn't. He was, and it was an instant connection, to say the least. He talked about his family, especially his nieces who were then the ages of 4 and 6, and he went on and on about how much fun he had with them and how he wanted children just like them. He talked about how his parents were still married and how he was really close with both of them. And he talked about how he had just applied to Pratt School of Design in New York City.
He called me a few days after we met and that was it. We were inseparable. About four months after dating, I knew I would marry him. I actually know the exact moment I knew. We were in a jazz bar in Norfolk, he looked over at me to give me a look and my ears seriously started ringing. I knew, at that very moment, HE was IT, and 6 months after that, I followed him to New York City after he got accepted into Pratt.
So I know that a lot of stories start out this way. Boy meets girl - they fall in love. Some of those couples get married. Some do not. Some have kids. Some do not. Some fall in love, get married and fall out of love before having kids. Some fall in love, get married, have kids and fall out of love after they have kids. That's just the way it goes, right? It's life.
Aside from talking about my amazing husband and my gorgeous child, the discussion of relationships is my most favorite thing to talk about. I think about how two people meet, whether it is a romantic relationship or a friendship, and I wonder how their relationship keeps going, and how some just fizzle out.
Two weekends ago, my husband and I had promised our little toddler that we would go get icees at this place called Uncle Louis G's in Park Slope, Brooklyn. She LOVES icees. So we made a special trip just for her - swore we'd get her a flavor the color of white like pina colada or coconut so her clothing wouldn't get ruined (yep! I'm one of THOSE moms!). Instead, they were out of those flavors, and she wanted tropical rainbow which, yes, consisted of cherry! She enjoyed every bite and while we walked back to the car both, my husband and I, on either side holding her hand, counting "1, 2, 3" and lifting her up (also one of her favorite things to do), we noticed a couple fighting on the sidewalk. In broad daylight. With two little boys standing next to them on scooters. The husband was obviously extremely angry at his wife and the argument escalated to him yelling in her face (seriously close enough for her to smell his breath) and he stormed off leaving her and her two little boys on the sidewalk. The boys in complete hysterics and the wife calm, as if this obviously wasn't the first time this has happened.
And I got in the car and cried.
In ten years, my husband has NEVER yelled at me. EVER. Listen, don't get me wrong, he's not perfect. No one is perfect. He gets annoyed with me. He actually got annoyed with me just a few days ago after I asked him to bring some stuff down to the basement to put in our storage unit because I was sick of looking at it. He told me I was being crazy (which, shit, I am crazy because I'm 39 weeks pregnant! duh!) and he told me I needed to calm myself (which made me even more crazy). But five minutes later, he walked me to the door, he kissed me goodbye and he told me to have a wonderful day, just as he does every single morning.
And I'm grateful for the marriage I have. I don't take him for granted. When my husband hurts my feelings, he knows it. And when other people in life hurt my feelings, they know it. That's me, and that's how I've always been. And this is the reason I think I have such long lasting friendships in my life.
Relationships are complicated....
(to be continued)
We had mutual friends who were dating who thought we'd be a good fit for each other. I played games for about a month - said I'd go to meet him, but wouldn't show up. On the 22nd of October, 2002, I decided I would go out and maybe he'd be there, or maybe he wouldn't. He was, and it was an instant connection, to say the least. He talked about his family, especially his nieces who were then the ages of 4 and 6, and he went on and on about how much fun he had with them and how he wanted children just like them. He talked about how his parents were still married and how he was really close with both of them. And he talked about how he had just applied to Pratt School of Design in New York City.
He called me a few days after we met and that was it. We were inseparable. About four months after dating, I knew I would marry him. I actually know the exact moment I knew. We were in a jazz bar in Norfolk, he looked over at me to give me a look and my ears seriously started ringing. I knew, at that very moment, HE was IT, and 6 months after that, I followed him to New York City after he got accepted into Pratt.
So I know that a lot of stories start out this way. Boy meets girl - they fall in love. Some of those couples get married. Some do not. Some have kids. Some do not. Some fall in love, get married and fall out of love before having kids. Some fall in love, get married, have kids and fall out of love after they have kids. That's just the way it goes, right? It's life.
Aside from talking about my amazing husband and my gorgeous child, the discussion of relationships is my most favorite thing to talk about. I think about how two people meet, whether it is a romantic relationship or a friendship, and I wonder how their relationship keeps going, and how some just fizzle out.
Two weekends ago, my husband and I had promised our little toddler that we would go get icees at this place called Uncle Louis G's in Park Slope, Brooklyn. She LOVES icees. So we made a special trip just for her - swore we'd get her a flavor the color of white like pina colada or coconut so her clothing wouldn't get ruined (yep! I'm one of THOSE moms!). Instead, they were out of those flavors, and she wanted tropical rainbow which, yes, consisted of cherry! She enjoyed every bite and while we walked back to the car both, my husband and I, on either side holding her hand, counting "1, 2, 3" and lifting her up (also one of her favorite things to do), we noticed a couple fighting on the sidewalk. In broad daylight. With two little boys standing next to them on scooters. The husband was obviously extremely angry at his wife and the argument escalated to him yelling in her face (seriously close enough for her to smell his breath) and he stormed off leaving her and her two little boys on the sidewalk. The boys in complete hysterics and the wife calm, as if this obviously wasn't the first time this has happened.
And I got in the car and cried.
In ten years, my husband has NEVER yelled at me. EVER. Listen, don't get me wrong, he's not perfect. No one is perfect. He gets annoyed with me. He actually got annoyed with me just a few days ago after I asked him to bring some stuff down to the basement to put in our storage unit because I was sick of looking at it. He told me I was being crazy (which, shit, I am crazy because I'm 39 weeks pregnant! duh!) and he told me I needed to calm myself (which made me even more crazy). But five minutes later, he walked me to the door, he kissed me goodbye and he told me to have a wonderful day, just as he does every single morning.
And I'm grateful for the marriage I have. I don't take him for granted. When my husband hurts my feelings, he knows it. And when other people in life hurt my feelings, they know it. That's me, and that's how I've always been. And this is the reason I think I have such long lasting friendships in my life.
Relationships are complicated....
(to be continued)
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
36 weeks.... 38 weeks.... Who really cares at this point!?!
I think we may have found out why I'm so so sooooo tired.
Little man is huge. He is currently measuring what Harper weighed at birth and I'm supposed to be a little over 36 weeks. So what does this mean, you may ask? It means either 1) my due date is wrong; 2) little man is just growing rapidly; or 3) I have the (very) late onset of gestational diabetes. I, myself, haven't gained any weight in about two months, but little man is already over 7 pounds. You heard that right, people.... 7 pounds with 4 weeks to go!
Late last week my doctor thought I should be tested (again!) for gestational diabetes. I was already tested back in my second trimester (most women are) and I was fine. So why was I tested again so late in my pregnancy? I'm not so sure. My doctor said it is because they want to know what we are dealing with, and that he doesn't want the baby to get over 8 pounds. A fetus, at this stage, gains about half a pound to a pound a week. So if I have four weeks to go, and he's already 7 1/2 pounds, and this baby goes to 40 weeks.... well, YOU DO THE MATH. You know how they say a woman's body can handle a large baby? Not so much if a woman is 115 pounds pre-pregnancy and your baby is, say, 12 pounds at birth. This makes for a very dangerous situation. And by the way he is growing, we may very well have a 12 pound baby if they let me go to 40 weeks. And that, my friends, ain't going to happen, if you know what I'm sayin'.
Looks like baby is going to be an October baby after all! Maybe before the zodiac change... because, let's face it, people... I'd much rather have a Libra boy than a Scorpio boy (no offense).
Friday, September 21, 2012
100%
32 weeks and 5 days!! Or wait, is it 35 weeks?
Comparing my picture from last week to this week, it doesn't look like I've gotten much bigger but I must have because I definitely had a presence on the train this week. It's like a domino effect. One person looks, another person looks, and then half the train is looking at me. I sat down on the bus and/or train every single day (roundtrip) this week. Although, I still have to go home from work today, I'm pretty sure I'll also be sitting so I'm giving this week a 100%! BIG change from last week's 50/50!
I was stopped many many times on the street this week, hearing things like.... "Girl! You look amazing pregnant!" and "Your belly is perfectly round and you're REALLY small!" Let's hear it for the little boys in their mommy's bellies! Maybe it is really true what I always heard: "When you're pregnant with a girl, they take all the beauty out of you. When you're pregnant with a boy, they make you look better!" SERIOUSLY?!?
In other news: At Monday's routine check-up, our baby boy was measuring about 2-weeks bigger than originally thought. This is not only possible, but extremely likely. DANG! So while I thought I was looking REAL good at almost 33 weeks, I think I look even better if I really am 35 weeks! Yeah!!
So Friday afternoons and the thought of the weekend always brings the best of intentions. I always have these ideas about what we are going to do with Harper over the weekend. Next week is apple/pumpkin picking! Sounds good, right? Our favorite season in New York is here! Bring on Autumn!
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Post Labor with Harper
I was literally unable to sit on the floor with Harper for the first 8 months of her life. I totally don't mean for this to be a sob story about the post-labor of my first child. It just was not a good time, and unfortunately, we didn't have any help from anyone. I will not get into the REAL details of my post labor with Harper as I'm SURE most of you don't want to hear it (and I'd like to keep some of my privacy intact! ha!). Let's just say that I didn't fully heal from having Harper for a very VERY long time. And I did not have a c-section. I was in a lot of pain - probably more pain than I even lead anyone on to believe I was in. It hurt to pee. It hurt to take showers. It hurt to wear jeans. If you think about how bad those things hurt, you can imagine that NOTHING else was going on down there (if you get what I'm saying). I was going to the doctor more often post-labor than I had to go pre-labor. THAT was how I spent my maternity leave with my first child. It got to the point that it hurt for so long that I totally forgot how it felt to feel normal down there. And, if you think about it, THAT is enough to make anyone depressed - even the happiest of people.
I took off work for 5 months after having Harper. When I finally went back to work after the 5 months, I had to go to my (amazing) boss and tell him that I needed to take off again for short term disability because, well, it had to do with childbirth. Yes, I had to have surgery. And yes, it was like I had another baby but without another baby. And if you must know, everything is perfect now - but it was a long long road to get there.
There are three doctors in the practice we go to. They each alternate who is on-call for labor and deliveries, so a patient is encouraged to build a relationship with each of the doctors during their pregnancy. I have my regular doctor who I see for my annual exams, and who I saw the most after I had Harper. One of the other doctors was the one who delivered Harper. And the third doctor was the one who performed my who-who repair six months after I had Harper. So yes, I REALLY truly have a solid relationship with each of the doctors in the practice. When everyone was telling me how I needed to change my obgyn when he didn't realize I was pregnant at 13 weeks - THIS is the reason why I didn't switch.
The doctor who performed my repair is no longer with the practice, and a new doctor (whom we like very much) has taken her place. We met her for the first time a couple of days ago when I had my routine pre-labor check up. Even though she wasn't around two years ago, she knew of the situation I went through with Harper. Either she read it in my chart, or the other doctors had briefed her on the situation, but we discussed (AGAIN) about what this birth plan is going to be. I'm scared. The entire practice knows I'm scared. The entire practice knows what I went through before and they KNOW the fear I have that what happened before may or may not happen again. So we are taking precautions. I've been asked if I want to do an elective c-section (which I'm a good candidate for) but I've decided that I will try to have this baby just the way I had Harper.
So since we really have NO IDEA when this baby was conceived, my obgyn has been guesstimating when the due date will be by seeing how much the baby measures through sonograms and ultrasounds. Different parts of him have been measuring smaller or bigger and, up until a few days ago, we thought I was about 32 weeks. At my 28-week appointment, his head was measuring 28 weeks, but his legs were measuring at 30. This time, at my 32 week appointment, his entire body was measuring at about 34 weeks and some days. They estimate he is about 5 pounds now which sent me into a bit of panic thinking how big he could possibly get in the next month. Inducing me is a good possibility, which I don't want to do, but I also don't want a 10 pound baby. The doctor even briefly mentioned that she doesn't think my body can handle a baby much bigger than what Harper was (7 pounds and 13 ounces). I am confident in my doctors that they are going to do the right thing for me to make sure what happened before doesn't happen again.
My husband and I were talking this morning about the baby just as we do every single day. And I told him that I wasn't afraid of the labor as much as I'm afraid of the healing afterwards. But as I said in my previous post: everything about this pregnancy is much easier than it was with my first pregnancy... so that, alone, has me thinking positively. (Please pray for me!)
I took off work for 5 months after having Harper. When I finally went back to work after the 5 months, I had to go to my (amazing) boss and tell him that I needed to take off again for short term disability because, well, it had to do with childbirth. Yes, I had to have surgery. And yes, it was like I had another baby but without another baby. And if you must know, everything is perfect now - but it was a long long road to get there.
There are three doctors in the practice we go to. They each alternate who is on-call for labor and deliveries, so a patient is encouraged to build a relationship with each of the doctors during their pregnancy. I have my regular doctor who I see for my annual exams, and who I saw the most after I had Harper. One of the other doctors was the one who delivered Harper. And the third doctor was the one who performed my who-who repair six months after I had Harper. So yes, I REALLY truly have a solid relationship with each of the doctors in the practice. When everyone was telling me how I needed to change my obgyn when he didn't realize I was pregnant at 13 weeks - THIS is the reason why I didn't switch.
The doctor who performed my repair is no longer with the practice, and a new doctor (whom we like very much) has taken her place. We met her for the first time a couple of days ago when I had my routine pre-labor check up. Even though she wasn't around two years ago, she knew of the situation I went through with Harper. Either she read it in my chart, or the other doctors had briefed her on the situation, but we discussed (AGAIN) about what this birth plan is going to be. I'm scared. The entire practice knows I'm scared. The entire practice knows what I went through before and they KNOW the fear I have that what happened before may or may not happen again. So we are taking precautions. I've been asked if I want to do an elective c-section (which I'm a good candidate for) but I've decided that I will try to have this baby just the way I had Harper.
So since we really have NO IDEA when this baby was conceived, my obgyn has been guesstimating when the due date will be by seeing how much the baby measures through sonograms and ultrasounds. Different parts of him have been measuring smaller or bigger and, up until a few days ago, we thought I was about 32 weeks. At my 28-week appointment, his head was measuring 28 weeks, but his legs were measuring at 30. This time, at my 32 week appointment, his entire body was measuring at about 34 weeks and some days. They estimate he is about 5 pounds now which sent me into a bit of panic thinking how big he could possibly get in the next month. Inducing me is a good possibility, which I don't want to do, but I also don't want a 10 pound baby. The doctor even briefly mentioned that she doesn't think my body can handle a baby much bigger than what Harper was (7 pounds and 13 ounces). I am confident in my doctors that they are going to do the right thing for me to make sure what happened before doesn't happen again.
My husband and I were talking this morning about the baby just as we do every single day. And I told him that I wasn't afraid of the labor as much as I'm afraid of the healing afterwards. But as I said in my previous post: everything about this pregnancy is much easier than it was with my first pregnancy... so that, alone, has me thinking positively. (Please pray for me!)
Monday, September 17, 2012
How You Feelin'?
It's a question I get every single day. How are you feelin'? And the answer is, "Really really good!". It's the absolute truth. At 32 weeks, I feel good. Almost too good. I did some thinking about this exact subject this past weekend, and I think I realized that I probably don't feel any better than the majority of pregnant women at this stage - I just honestly think that my first pregnancy was THE MOST difficult pregnancy EVER and my mind thinks that I should be feeling the same way I did a little more than two years ago when I was pregnant with my first child.
I've just come to realize (or maybe I realized it a while ago) that the two words "pregnancy" and "Harper" do not mix. It took a pretty long time to get pregnant with Harper, and as I've touched upon in previous posts, she was ultimately conceived through fertility treatments. After a few failed fertility treatment attempts, we were finally pregnant, and we were pregnant with twins! After about 8 weeks, Harper decided that she was going to dominate my uterus (ha!) and we lost the other baby. Obviously, it's not Harper's fault - either it was a bad egg or a bad sperm - but little baby B "just wasn't meant to be" as our reproductive endocrinologist put it. And yes, we lost the baby AFTER we heard a strong heartbeat at 6 weeks. It happens, and we are so grateful (!!!) that Harper stuck it out in there for the 39 weeks and 6 days that she did.
But, oh mannnn were those 39 weeks and 6 days (and beyond!!) rough.
I was so sick when I was pregnant with Harper. So so sick. I was constantly nauseated and I puked (a lot!) in my first trimester. The smell of unpleasant things (which was everything) sent me dry heaving to the toilet. I felt horrible and I was hungry, but when I ate, I puked. You know how they call it morning sickness? Well, I had middle-of-the-night sickness. So while my husband was sleeping, I was in the bathroom throwing up with only my orange tabby cat consoling me. I know my husband would have gotten up with me, but what could he have done for me? Nothing! But seriously, how evil is it that I couldn't even sleep without being woken up by nausea? I was throwing up well into my second trimester. And I think I even puked once in my third trimester. Dry heaving happened pretty much throughout the pregnancy.
On top of the puking in my first trimester, I was mean. I was really really mean. I was so mean to my husband. My poor husband. I was mean to my co-workers. I was mean to strangers and friends and family. I still blame it on the hormones because not only did I have the normal pregnancy hormones in full effect, but I was also put on extra hormones from fertility treatments to "keep the baby". And let me tell you, EXTRA estrogen for an already pregnant woman isn't good. I felt like a crazy woman. I'm not one to usually get angry very easily, but I was mad at the world and it sucked!
Then once I hit my second trimester, I started to get swollen. I remember it so well, and I will remember it for the rest of my life. Let me just map out some dates for you so you can get an understanding. I got pregnant the end of November. We had a major snow storm in February, and I couldn't zip up my snow boots. And since we live in New York City, we still had some snow on the ground in March. There was one day when I had to use rubberbands (I'm totally serious!) to be able to commute in my snow boots to work. And it was only March! Our baby wasn't due until AUGUST!!! I kept thinking to myself, "This can't be happening! I'm going to be pregnant in my third trimester during the hottest time of the year! How are my legs and feet going to survive?" Well, at the end of it all, they did... but not without pain and not without MANY MANY shoeless days in my office. (I've promised to post a picture of what my feet looked like in my last months of pregnancy, and I will stick to my word! Just not now.)
Harper did not stop moving while she was inside of me. I felt her for the first time at about 13 weeks, and that was the start of it all. She punched, she kicked, she pushed. And I knew, I absolutely knew, we were in for it when she was finally here. And she did not disappoint (and still hasn't!).
I was in labor for 25 hours, which I know, some women go much longer than that. But I was in active labor for about eight. I pushed for three. Yes, people, I PUSHED FOR THREE HOURS! I will always remember that I got the epidural when the sun was going down and she was born at 5:26am just when the sun was coming up! She was here! And things were going to be better, right? RIGHT???
Not so much.
Of course, we were happy she was here with us. But, well, something just wasn't right with me. Physically, I mean. And well, it wasn't until about 5-weeks post labor that I realized it (and after my best friend said).... "What do you mean, you're STILL IN PAIN???" But that's a post for another time......
I heard it a lot during my first pregnancy: "Every pregnancy is different!!" And, in my case, those words, when comparing my two pregnancies, couldn't be any more than the truth! This little boy inside of me now has been, and probably will be, a piece of cake. It's been, so far, the EASIEST pregnancy. Of course, there was the whole "missing the first trimester thing" that you can read about more HERE. But all in all, other than being exhausted, I haven't puked or even felt nauseated. My feet, even at 32 weeks, aren't really swollen. My skin looks great (it didn't look too good when I was pregnant before). And instead of being mean, I've been emotional. Look, my husband will be the first to admit that crying is MUCH better than being a bitch! And while this baby boy moves a lot, he is NOTHING like Harper was while she was in there.
We can not wait until he is born and we can see what kind of baby he is going to be and what or who he is going to look like. We have so many questions that will not be answered until he is here with us in about 8 weeks. So until then, I'm going to keep enjoying this pregnancy and I'm going to keep telling people how wonderful I feel, because, well, I really really do!
I've just come to realize (or maybe I realized it a while ago) that the two words "pregnancy" and "Harper" do not mix. It took a pretty long time to get pregnant with Harper, and as I've touched upon in previous posts, she was ultimately conceived through fertility treatments. After a few failed fertility treatment attempts, we were finally pregnant, and we were pregnant with twins! After about 8 weeks, Harper decided that she was going to dominate my uterus (ha!) and we lost the other baby. Obviously, it's not Harper's fault - either it was a bad egg or a bad sperm - but little baby B "just wasn't meant to be" as our reproductive endocrinologist put it. And yes, we lost the baby AFTER we heard a strong heartbeat at 6 weeks. It happens, and we are so grateful (!!!) that Harper stuck it out in there for the 39 weeks and 6 days that she did.
But, oh mannnn were those 39 weeks and 6 days (and beyond!!) rough.
I was so sick when I was pregnant with Harper. So so sick. I was constantly nauseated and I puked (a lot!) in my first trimester. The smell of unpleasant things (which was everything) sent me dry heaving to the toilet. I felt horrible and I was hungry, but when I ate, I puked. You know how they call it morning sickness? Well, I had middle-of-the-night sickness. So while my husband was sleeping, I was in the bathroom throwing up with only my orange tabby cat consoling me. I know my husband would have gotten up with me, but what could he have done for me? Nothing! But seriously, how evil is it that I couldn't even sleep without being woken up by nausea? I was throwing up well into my second trimester. And I think I even puked once in my third trimester. Dry heaving happened pretty much throughout the pregnancy.
On top of the puking in my first trimester, I was mean. I was really really mean. I was so mean to my husband. My poor husband. I was mean to my co-workers. I was mean to strangers and friends and family. I still blame it on the hormones because not only did I have the normal pregnancy hormones in full effect, but I was also put on extra hormones from fertility treatments to "keep the baby". And let me tell you, EXTRA estrogen for an already pregnant woman isn't good. I felt like a crazy woman. I'm not one to usually get angry very easily, but I was mad at the world and it sucked!
Then once I hit my second trimester, I started to get swollen. I remember it so well, and I will remember it for the rest of my life. Let me just map out some dates for you so you can get an understanding. I got pregnant the end of November. We had a major snow storm in February, and I couldn't zip up my snow boots. And since we live in New York City, we still had some snow on the ground in March. There was one day when I had to use rubberbands (I'm totally serious!) to be able to commute in my snow boots to work. And it was only March! Our baby wasn't due until AUGUST!!! I kept thinking to myself, "This can't be happening! I'm going to be pregnant in my third trimester during the hottest time of the year! How are my legs and feet going to survive?" Well, at the end of it all, they did... but not without pain and not without MANY MANY shoeless days in my office. (I've promised to post a picture of what my feet looked like in my last months of pregnancy, and I will stick to my word! Just not now.)
Harper did not stop moving while she was inside of me. I felt her for the first time at about 13 weeks, and that was the start of it all. She punched, she kicked, she pushed. And I knew, I absolutely knew, we were in for it when she was finally here. And she did not disappoint (and still hasn't!).
I was in labor for 25 hours, which I know, some women go much longer than that. But I was in active labor for about eight. I pushed for three. Yes, people, I PUSHED FOR THREE HOURS! I will always remember that I got the epidural when the sun was going down and she was born at 5:26am just when the sun was coming up! She was here! And things were going to be better, right? RIGHT???
Not so much.
Of course, we were happy she was here with us. But, well, something just wasn't right with me. Physically, I mean. And well, it wasn't until about 5-weeks post labor that I realized it (and after my best friend said).... "What do you mean, you're STILL IN PAIN???" But that's a post for another time......
I heard it a lot during my first pregnancy: "Every pregnancy is different!!" And, in my case, those words, when comparing my two pregnancies, couldn't be any more than the truth! This little boy inside of me now has been, and probably will be, a piece of cake. It's been, so far, the EASIEST pregnancy. Of course, there was the whole "missing the first trimester thing" that you can read about more HERE. But all in all, other than being exhausted, I haven't puked or even felt nauseated. My feet, even at 32 weeks, aren't really swollen. My skin looks great (it didn't look too good when I was pregnant before). And instead of being mean, I've been emotional. Look, my husband will be the first to admit that crying is MUCH better than being a bitch! And while this baby boy moves a lot, he is NOTHING like Harper was while she was in there.
We can not wait until he is born and we can see what kind of baby he is going to be and what or who he is going to look like. We have so many questions that will not be answered until he is here with us in about 8 weeks. So until then, I'm going to keep enjoying this pregnancy and I'm going to keep telling people how wonderful I feel, because, well, I really really do!
Friday, September 14, 2012
50/50
It's Friday and I'm feeling very black and white today! Kinda like a cookie. You know, those 50/50 black and white cookies you get at bagel bakeries all over New York City? Yeah, something like that.
So Monday and Thursday, someone offered me their seat during my morning commute. Tuesday and Wednesday, I stood. Today was the day to see if whether or not I'd sit 60% of the time this week, or if I'd stand 60%. I'm starting not to count the bus in my commute because, now, someone is always offering me a seat. I took the unpleasant B54 bus to Jay Street to catch the F train this morning. I stepped on the bus and a white woman about my age looked right at me, smiled, and then kept on sitting. As I've said in previous posts, there are 7 stops on the F train to get to 14th Street. When more people started to board the train at the subsequent stops, I was forced to change which pole I held on to. It was then, at the 3rd stop, that someone offered their seat to me. So would you believe it? I sat 50% of the time and stood the other 50% of the time this week.
Some people have been asking me why I don't touch upon my afternoon commute home. The reason I don't talk about the commute home is because I ALWAYS sit down. The reason for that is because I'm the luckiest woman in the world to have the most amazing boss EVER (trust me on this one, people) and he allows me to leave work at 2:30pm each day (to spend time with my first baby). The trains are just not crowded at 2:30 in the afternoon. This is good for me, because, well, my feet are starting to swell a little bit later in the day.
I've promised myself that I will NOT complain about the swollen feet because I have less than 2 months to go with this pregnancy and the way my feet look with this pregnancy (at 32 weeks) at the end of the day is how my feet looked in the morning when I was 20 weeks. This is a whole 'nother post all together (but you can read a little about it HERE!). Just WAIT until you see a picture of what my feet looked like at this stage when I was pregnant before!
Have a great weekend! Oh, and I'm totally going to be getting a black and white cookie this weekend!
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
31 Weeks (and some days)!
This is what I looked like on Monday during my commute. Cute, right? I'm still managing to fit into some non-maternity clothing, although I'm probably ruining some of my dresses and shirts by wearing them! On Monday, I took a different route to work. I took the route I take home each day. I never take this route in the morning because of all the hipsters I tend to encounter who definitely aren't going to let me sit down. But Monday morning I decided to try it. I walked six blocks to the G train and transfered to the L train at Metropolitan/Lorimer Street. A lot more walking than my usual morning route, but I felt I could do it because it was cooler and not as humid outside. Well, can you believe it. Those hipsters actually let me sit on not one, but TWO trains Monday morning. So I decided Monday morning that for the rest of my pregnancy, I'm going to stop talking shit about the hipsters I see at the Brooklyn Flea each weekend.... or the ones I encounter on the L train going to Williamsburg.
Yesterday, I took the usual morning route. B54 bus (which I NEVER take when I'm not pregnant) to the F train at Jay Street. I don't usually take the 54 bus because it comes from north Brooklyn (aka: bad neighborhood!) and people aren't usually very nice and accommodating to pregnant women or women with children. (Please read previous post from first pregnancy HERE!) I did sit on the bus, but only because there was an open seat, not because someone offered it to me, which is fine. But once I boarded that F Train at Jay Street, I didn't sit for the entire commute. It wasn't until I was at West 4th Street that someone offered me a seat, but only because someone got up to get off at the stop. My stop is 14th Street, so there was no point in sitting down.
Today, I decided to try the route I did on Monday. I sat on the G train because there were empty seats, but I did not sit on the L train. I've decided today that I will NOT be taking this route in the morning anymore. The train was so unbelievably crowded that I hesitated to get on. I had to ride the L train with my hand up in front of my belly just in case someone lost their balance and fell 6 inches into me.
I got off the train at Union Square and I decided to reward myself with a blueberry muffin from Whole Foods. It's the least I can do, right?
Tuesday, September 04, 2012
30.25 Weeks!
Well, hello there. This is me - 30 weeks and 2 days pregnant! And guess what? I stood on the train this morning for my entire 20 minute commute on the F Train from Jay Street in Brooklyn to 14th Street in Manhattan. Between those two stations are 7 stops. Seven stops where people moved and shifted and briefly looked up to see what was going on around them.
One thing I learned today is no one says SHIT to a (very) pregnant woman hugging a pole. You know, the pole that about 8 people hold on to so they don't lose their balance while the train is moving back and forth through tunnels. The people standing look around at the people sitting totally confused, like, "And whyyyy is this woman standing?"
Yeah, I'd love to know also!
Thursday, August 09, 2012
26.5 Weeks!
I will be in my third trimester on Sunday so please don't tell me how huge I look. Ok, whatever... I know I look good. Haha. So please don't tell me how great I look either. What I'd rather you do is comment on how someone who looks like this - almost 7 months pregnant - stood on a New York City subway train THREE days this week while commuting to work. It's currently Thursday, so you may be thinking "ok, so you sat ONE of those days - standing 75% of the time isn't bad!" But I was actually out of commission on Monday with back pain so I didn't even go to work! So yes, each day I've gone to work this week has consisted of me STANDING on the train the entire commute. My train ride is about 25 minutes. I get on the F train at Jay Street in Brooklyn and I get off that same train at 14th Street in Manhattan.
Are you telling me that not ONE person sitting in a seat saw my almost-seven-months-pregnant belly standing clutching a pole?
Would LOVE LOVE LOVE if you could share this. Post on your facebook, twitter, blogs.... maybe it will reach SOMEONE in New York City to make people more aware.
p.s. Please excuse the bathroom shot I swore I would NEVERRRRR take and post on any website or social media outlet. Hey, at least I tried to pretty it up by instagramming it! xo.
Wednesday, August 08, 2012
Back Pain and Pregnant
It is a very well kept secret that I, almost 7 months pregnant, is not usually offered a seat on a bus or train. Yep! You heard that right! More than 50% of the time, I stand on my entire 45 minute commute to work each morning. Crazy, right?
I went through this with my first pregnancy and I used to honestly think that most people were oblivious to what was going on around them and they did not realize there was a pregnant belly standing right in front of them while they checked their emails on their phones, or read their magazines or books, or listened to music with their eyes closed, or whatever else they decided to do while riding public transportation. Now, I think people are malicious. They look right at me and they DO. NOT. CARE. about giving up their seat.
I don't exactly feel the same love for this city that I did before I got pregnant (the first time) almost three years ago. I do not like being pregnant - not because of vanity or anything else you may think - but because most people in New York City are not nice to me when I'm pregnant! I don't know what it is. Sometimes I think people look at me and think "Even though this girl is VERY pregnant, she is in much better shape than I am so I'm going to keep on sitting!" And it's true - I am in pretty good shape for being almost 7-months pregnant. But, dang, people! I can't even get a sip of water from my water bottle while standing because I'm afraid I'm going to lose my balance! It's 90 degrees outside and I have sweat beads on my forehead and I'm STILL standing!
I hurt my back over the weekend trying to lift a box of clothing. Yeah, I know, stupid! I know that now. I actually couldn't go to work on Monday not because I have a job that's strenuous (I'm usually sitting at a desk all day!) - but because I didn't know what my commute to work and back would be like. If I could have been sure to get a seat on the bus and train, I would have been able to work! But most of the time, when I sit on the bus or train, it's because someone is getting off at the next stop - NOT because they are offering a seat to a pregnant woman. It's crazy to me.
So far, during this pregnancy, I look pretty much normal except for the huge belly. My legs and my arms look pretty much normal - but my belly is bigger than it was at this stage the first time. We'll see over the next three months if people start letting me sit....
TO BE CONTINUED.....
I went through this with my first pregnancy and I used to honestly think that most people were oblivious to what was going on around them and they did not realize there was a pregnant belly standing right in front of them while they checked their emails on their phones, or read their magazines or books, or listened to music with their eyes closed, or whatever else they decided to do while riding public transportation. Now, I think people are malicious. They look right at me and they DO. NOT. CARE. about giving up their seat.
I don't exactly feel the same love for this city that I did before I got pregnant (the first time) almost three years ago. I do not like being pregnant - not because of vanity or anything else you may think - but because most people in New York City are not nice to me when I'm pregnant! I don't know what it is. Sometimes I think people look at me and think "Even though this girl is VERY pregnant, she is in much better shape than I am so I'm going to keep on sitting!" And it's true - I am in pretty good shape for being almost 7-months pregnant. But, dang, people! I can't even get a sip of water from my water bottle while standing because I'm afraid I'm going to lose my balance! It's 90 degrees outside and I have sweat beads on my forehead and I'm STILL standing!
I hurt my back over the weekend trying to lift a box of clothing. Yeah, I know, stupid! I know that now. I actually couldn't go to work on Monday not because I have a job that's strenuous (I'm usually sitting at a desk all day!) - but because I didn't know what my commute to work and back would be like. If I could have been sure to get a seat on the bus and train, I would have been able to work! But most of the time, when I sit on the bus or train, it's because someone is getting off at the next stop - NOT because they are offering a seat to a pregnant woman. It's crazy to me.
So far, during this pregnancy, I look pretty much normal except for the huge belly. My legs and my arms look pretty much normal - but my belly is bigger than it was at this stage the first time. We'll see over the next three months if people start letting me sit....
TO BE CONTINUED.....
Monday, July 23, 2012
Excited and Angry Goes Together.
I've had to step back the past two months and really let this all sink in. I mean, it's only right. Right? Most women find out they are pregnant at 4 weeks and then they start to tell people at 12 weeks. My husband and I decided we'd do it the same way. We waited eight weeks to make any announcements. Obviously, our families and closest friends knew right away. And, well, since I was showing pretty much the same time we found out, people I see on a daily basis know that I'm pregnant.
So that rash I discussed in my previous post (HERE), was caused by a high elevation of pregnancy hormones, NOT a virus. That blood work and urine sample they took the day I walked my blotchy self to my internist's office would have shown I was about 5 weeks pregnant IF THEY WOULD HAVE TESTED ME FOR PREGNANCY!
Oh, and that obgyn appointment I had? It was my annual exam, and yes, I had a pelvic exam. I told my obgyn that I was having major stomach problems. I told him I hadn't had my period since February. I told him I was seeing a gastroenterologist. That urine sample taken at my obgyn's office - it wasn't tested for pregnancy. I was 13 weeks pregnant when I saw him for my annual exam. Yes, I was in my second trimester!
I have to be honest and say we are angry. Angry at doctors. We are absolutely THRILLED we are pregnant, but we have lost a lot of faith in the medical profession. I want to be completely clear that we saw FOUR different doctors during the first 16 weeks of my pregnancy. I saw my internist twice, two different gastroenterologists, and I saw my obgyn. In those five different doctors visits, blood was drawn three times and urine was taken twice. Not ONE of those doctors thought they should test me for pregnancy. So what was supposed to be a joyous and fun time ended up a time filled of uncertainty and, well, I WAS FUCKING SCARED! Not happy, but scared! And that, my friends, just isn't right.
After finding out I was pregnant on that Tuesday evening back at the end of May (with a cheap home pregnancy test!), I realized in that crazy moment of chaos that I had an appointment scheduled for Thursday with the second gastroenterologist to discuss results from the pending catscan I should have taken that afternoon or early the next morning. Of course, we didn't end up getting the catscan at a hospital. We got an ultrasound at my obgyn's office instead. I called the gastroenterologist who ordered the catscan to tell him, and I quote, "I don't need a gastroenterologist. I need an obstetrician because, well, I AM PREGNANT!"
His response to me was a little less to be desired. He immediately told me I needed a new obgyn, and that he was disgusted at the fact that I saw my obstetrician for an annual exam at 13 weeks pregnant and that my obstetrician didn't realize I had a second trimester fetus in my uterus. He then told me that since I was calling to tell him good news that he could tell me EXACTLY what he thought was going on just one day prior. He told me that he thought I had cancer. He told me that he was worried that I had a tumor growing in my abdomen the size of a small apple. He told me he was angry. And all I could say was.... "I HEAR YOU!! Believe me, I HEAR YOU!" I told him I was embarrassed about the whole situation and I felt like I didn't know my body as well as I should have. And his response was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. He said, "Rebecca, the ONLY person who should be embarrassed is your obstetrician."
So with all this being said, we are a little angry. I'm angry every time I tell the story. I'm angry that I lost 16 weeks of my pregnancy going to doctors and having tests run that were ALL unnecessary. All I needed to do was pee in a cup and have one of those little paper pregnancy tests inserted. The fact that I told these doctors I hadn't had a period since February, but I didn't think I was pregnant because my first child was conceived through intrauterine insemination, was not a good enough reason to not test me for pregnancy!
Now that I've told the entire story.... it's really time to start moving forward.
16 weeks to go til we meet our little boy!! Wonder if he'll be a redhead?
So that rash I discussed in my previous post (HERE), was caused by a high elevation of pregnancy hormones, NOT a virus. That blood work and urine sample they took the day I walked my blotchy self to my internist's office would have shown I was about 5 weeks pregnant IF THEY WOULD HAVE TESTED ME FOR PREGNANCY!
Oh, and that obgyn appointment I had? It was my annual exam, and yes, I had a pelvic exam. I told my obgyn that I was having major stomach problems. I told him I hadn't had my period since February. I told him I was seeing a gastroenterologist. That urine sample taken at my obgyn's office - it wasn't tested for pregnancy. I was 13 weeks pregnant when I saw him for my annual exam. Yes, I was in my second trimester!
I have to be honest and say we are angry. Angry at doctors. We are absolutely THRILLED we are pregnant, but we have lost a lot of faith in the medical profession. I want to be completely clear that we saw FOUR different doctors during the first 16 weeks of my pregnancy. I saw my internist twice, two different gastroenterologists, and I saw my obgyn. In those five different doctors visits, blood was drawn three times and urine was taken twice. Not ONE of those doctors thought they should test me for pregnancy. So what was supposed to be a joyous and fun time ended up a time filled of uncertainty and, well, I WAS FUCKING SCARED! Not happy, but scared! And that, my friends, just isn't right.
After finding out I was pregnant on that Tuesday evening back at the end of May (with a cheap home pregnancy test!), I realized in that crazy moment of chaos that I had an appointment scheduled for Thursday with the second gastroenterologist to discuss results from the pending catscan I should have taken that afternoon or early the next morning. Of course, we didn't end up getting the catscan at a hospital. We got an ultrasound at my obgyn's office instead. I called the gastroenterologist who ordered the catscan to tell him, and I quote, "I don't need a gastroenterologist. I need an obstetrician because, well, I AM PREGNANT!"
His response to me was a little less to be desired. He immediately told me I needed a new obgyn, and that he was disgusted at the fact that I saw my obstetrician for an annual exam at 13 weeks pregnant and that my obstetrician didn't realize I had a second trimester fetus in my uterus. He then told me that since I was calling to tell him good news that he could tell me EXACTLY what he thought was going on just one day prior. He told me that he thought I had cancer. He told me that he was worried that I had a tumor growing in my abdomen the size of a small apple. He told me he was angry. And all I could say was.... "I HEAR YOU!! Believe me, I HEAR YOU!" I told him I was embarrassed about the whole situation and I felt like I didn't know my body as well as I should have. And his response was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. He said, "Rebecca, the ONLY person who should be embarrassed is your obstetrician."
So with all this being said, we are a little angry. I'm angry every time I tell the story. I'm angry that I lost 16 weeks of my pregnancy going to doctors and having tests run that were ALL unnecessary. All I needed to do was pee in a cup and have one of those little paper pregnancy tests inserted. The fact that I told these doctors I hadn't had a period since February, but I didn't think I was pregnant because my first child was conceived through intrauterine insemination, was not a good enough reason to not test me for pregnancy!
Now that I've told the entire story.... it's really time to start moving forward.
16 weeks to go til we meet our little boy!! Wonder if he'll be a redhead?
Wednesday, June 06, 2012
Pregnant?
It was exactly two weeks ago that we found we are pregnant! And we found out yesterday that we are having a BOY! I know, I know.... you're probably wondering "How can THAT be? Don't you have to wait MONTHS before finding out what the sex of your baby is?" Well, yes, in most circumstances, that is the case. In this specific circumstance, not so much.
And the story begins. And it's a very long story, so maybe you should take a seat.
Back at the beginning of March, I was on my way home and I was feeling extremely warm. It was chilly outside, but I literally felt like my blood was boiling inside. When I got home from work, and went to get undressed, I was covered head-to-toe in huge blotchy hives. They were everywhere. They were on the bottoms of my feet, on the palms of my hands, my torso, my arms, down my legs and all over my back - EVERYWHERE. I did what most people would do. First, I panicked. Second, I called my husband to come home. Third, I walked my blotchy self to the drugstore to buy some Benedryl, thinking I was obviously having an allergic reaction to something. When the Benedryl didn't help, I thought I was dying. The next morning when the rash was worse, I called my Internist. My doctor dismissed the rash as a virus, took some blood work and sent me on my way. He told me I'd be better in a few days. He was right. I felt sick for about five days and the rash was completely gone in seven. Whew.
About a week later, I had the worst stomach ache I've ever had in my life. I wasn't nauseated, I just had a horrible burning in my stomach. Similar to the burning I was feeling when I broke out in the rash. I immediately thought the rash had something to do with it and I called my Internist to come back in. My doctor dismissed my symptoms, told me it most likely had nothing to do with the rash, and then told me to make an appointment to see a gastroenterologist. (Time check: This was about the end of March.)
Two weeks later, I was in to see a gastroenterologist. Some tests were taken, but the doctor coughed my "condition" up to a woman who needed to exercise more (I'm 115 pounds and 5'4), drink more water (ok, so I could do that!), take in more fiber, and eat healthier (again, I'm 115 pounds and 5'4). He then prescribed me some laxatives and sent me on my way. (Time check: Mid-April.)
I didn't take the laxatives because I honestly didn't think I needed them. But I did do everything else he asked me to. I began eating even healthier than I ever have before (I must add that my husband and I never really eat processed/frozen foods. I make everything fresh. Fresh vegetables, fresh fruit, fresh fish, fresh chicken, whole grain pastas and rice is our nutrition!). I started taking Pilates again.
A few weeks passed and my pants were getting tight. Like, tight tight. OUT OF NO WHERE. And my stomach, well, my stomach wasn't feeling any better with the change of diet. It wasn't until I went to put on a pair of shorts I wore at the beginning of April while I was on vacation visiting my best friend in Florida, that I honestly really really thought something was wrong. They didn't fit. It's the beginning of May and I went to Florida FOUR weeks ago and wore the same shorts just fine, and now, they aren't even close to being buttoned.
In the middle of all of this, I had an annual exam with my obgyn. I told him that I was having stomach problems. I laughed about how my size 2 frame was slowly creeping to a size 4 while I was reaching my mid-thirties. I joked about it. Because, honestly, a size 4 at 32 years old (after having a baby!) isn't too bad, right? I was laughing on the outside but not too happy on the inside because I was really starting to think something was wrong. It was consuming my entire life.
So I was depressed for a couple of weeks. Cried to my mom a few times. Cried to my husband, like, every night. My body was looking the EXACT same, but I had a belly. i didn't understand WHY I was so bloated when I was eating so healthy! I know anyone reading this is like.... "Are you an idiot?" But let me make a brief statement before anyone starts to judge. My husband and I were told a little over three years ago that we would NOT be able to get pregnant on our own. Our little girl was conceived through fertility treatments. I injected myself with hormones every day for months to get pregnant with her. I do NOT get my period on my own. Our little Harper will be two years old in August and I've gotten my period THREE TIMES since she's been with us. And if that couldn't be any worse, my husband ALSO had fertility problems.
In the middle of May, my mom and my husband convinced me to get a second opinion at another gastroenterologist. I found this doctor through New York Magazine's BEST Doctor's in New York City article published every year. I chose the BEST doctor to go to for my "condition". I explained my situation over the telephone to a nurse and they got me in pretty fast. A week later, I was in to see a new doctor.
I explained my symptoms to him. I told him everything. Told him about the rash, the stomach aches, seeing my internist (TWICE!!!), a gastroenterologist and what he told me to do. I told him I saw my obgyn for an annual exam. This gastroenterologist was the FIRST doctor in months to ask if I may be pregnant. I told him no and explained to him why I didn't think I was. He examined me and when he pressed on my abdomen, I thought I was going to shoot through the ceiling. It was so much pain. SO MUCH PAIN. He left the examination room for a few minutes, came back in and asked me for the second time if my internist had taken blood work and if I'd gotten results back. They had taken blood work and I told him everything came back fine. He then said, and I remember it perfectly: "I want you to get dressed and sit with my nurse. She is going to call the hospital to make an appointment for you to get a catscan of your abdomen. If they have an appointment for you now, I would suggest you go now. If not today, then tomorrow. It has to be no later than tomorrow. I want to see you again at the end of the week."
At this point, I remain calm. I leave the office in a bit of a daze and as I'm on the train, I'm thinking to myself. I have cancer. I have a husband and a great job and a cute baby, and I'm probably going to die.
The next day, I go to the hospital for the catscan. When they call me back, they begin to ask me sets and sets of questions. One of which is "Are you allergic to iodine?" I tell the doctor that I don't believe I am, but that my dad is severely allergic. They tell me I have to premedicate for 24-hours before testing to eliminate any chance of a severe allergic reaction. At this point, I'm totally a mess. I just want the tests done. I leave the hospital with a prescription for prednisone that I have to begin taking immediately, and I need to come back to the hospital in the morning to begin tests.
I get on the train, completely a wreck. Get home and walk to the same drugstore I bought Benedryl in just 11 weeks earlier. When the pharmacist is ringing me up for payment, she looks right at me and says, "You aren't pregnant, are you? If you are pregnant, you CAN NOT take this medication. This medication is harmful to a fetus." I tell her that I'm not pregnant. I pay for the medication and as I'm walking out of the drugstore, I decide to get a pregnancy test just for the hell of it. I buy the cheapest Walgreens brand pregnancy test. I didn't even buy a two-pack! I bought ONE! I get home and ask Harper to come in the bathroom with me while I pee on the stick. The stick that I know is going to be NEGATIVE... but wait wait..... there is a PLUS. YES, THERE IS A PLUS! WHAT? WHAT? WHATTTTT????
At this point, I think I'm reading the test incorrectly. There is NO WAY. NOOOOOO WAY. I'm looking at the box and I'm looking at the instructions. WHY DIDN'T I BUY A TWO PACK?! This can't be right. There is NO WAY!
I call my husband at work. I'm panicked, to put it mildly. I'm having a total nervous breakdown. I'm thinking of all I've done over the past three months. OH MY GOD, could I REALLY be THAT pregnant? NO. NO WAY. I've drank. I've smoked. I've eaten sushi. I've eaten deli meat. Oh God, I've done Pilates! I've drank Metamucil! I haven't taken prenatal vitamins!!!!! So I'm full blown breakdown. I hang up with my husband and call my mom. Now, I'm REALLY having a nervous breakdown. I won't even repeat what I said because I was in absolute shock and probably said things that I REALLY REALLY DID NOT MEAN TO SAY.
Once I calmed down, I called my obgyn as an "emergency" call. Fast forward to the next morning when I'm in his office with the vag wand up my cooch like I had done MANY MANY times before while I was going through fertility treatments. My obgyn mentions that the baby is probably too small for a regular ultrasound. At this point, we have NOOO idea how far along I am. The internal sonogram shows a baby in my uterus! I see an entire body. Head, abdomen, legs, arms and a heartbeat, the little heartbeat. My doctor says, "You're NOT in your first trimester!" We begin to do a regular ultrasound, and it shows: "This baby is 15 weeks and 4 days. Welcome to your second trimester.... almost 4 weeks ago! You are, definitely, PREGNANT!"
We had our first sonogram yesterday. Today marks 17 weeks and 4 days pregnant with our second child. A BOY! We are shocked and thrilled and excited. Needless to say, we are angry at doctors (more to write about with that). We are happy this pregnancy was NOTHING like it was when I was pregnant with Harper. I wasn't sick at all. I mean, obviously, I had some stomach issues. I went to see a gastroenterologist!! But I haven't been nauseated and no puking! And on top of all of that, I look GREAT. I mean, I REALLY LOOK GREAT. I ate so healthy during my first trimester that I only gained 5 pounds in 16 weeks. With Harper, I'd already gained 15 at this stage. I was exercising and drinking a shitload of water (so my skin looks amazing!), and well, gotta say it again, I LOOK REALLY GOOD.
So since my pregnancy is almost half over (!!!!! - yes, that needs 5 exclamations!), it's time to start thinking about our fourth floor walk up to our 900 square foot, 2 bedroom apartment. More on that later.
But WE ARE PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ON OUR OWN!!! NO more fertility treatments ever again in my life. We are thrilled that we got pregnant the way it was supposed to happen, even if it was unexpected. Unexpected is my life. I'd have it NO OTHER WAY.
And the story begins. And it's a very long story, so maybe you should take a seat.
Back at the beginning of March, I was on my way home and I was feeling extremely warm. It was chilly outside, but I literally felt like my blood was boiling inside. When I got home from work, and went to get undressed, I was covered head-to-toe in huge blotchy hives. They were everywhere. They were on the bottoms of my feet, on the palms of my hands, my torso, my arms, down my legs and all over my back - EVERYWHERE. I did what most people would do. First, I panicked. Second, I called my husband to come home. Third, I walked my blotchy self to the drugstore to buy some Benedryl, thinking I was obviously having an allergic reaction to something. When the Benedryl didn't help, I thought I was dying. The next morning when the rash was worse, I called my Internist. My doctor dismissed the rash as a virus, took some blood work and sent me on my way. He told me I'd be better in a few days. He was right. I felt sick for about five days and the rash was completely gone in seven. Whew.
About a week later, I had the worst stomach ache I've ever had in my life. I wasn't nauseated, I just had a horrible burning in my stomach. Similar to the burning I was feeling when I broke out in the rash. I immediately thought the rash had something to do with it and I called my Internist to come back in. My doctor dismissed my symptoms, told me it most likely had nothing to do with the rash, and then told me to make an appointment to see a gastroenterologist. (Time check: This was about the end of March.)
Two weeks later, I was in to see a gastroenterologist. Some tests were taken, but the doctor coughed my "condition" up to a woman who needed to exercise more (I'm 115 pounds and 5'4), drink more water (ok, so I could do that!), take in more fiber, and eat healthier (again, I'm 115 pounds and 5'4). He then prescribed me some laxatives and sent me on my way. (Time check: Mid-April.)
I didn't take the laxatives because I honestly didn't think I needed them. But I did do everything else he asked me to. I began eating even healthier than I ever have before (I must add that my husband and I never really eat processed/frozen foods. I make everything fresh. Fresh vegetables, fresh fruit, fresh fish, fresh chicken, whole grain pastas and rice is our nutrition!). I started taking Pilates again.
A few weeks passed and my pants were getting tight. Like, tight tight. OUT OF NO WHERE. And my stomach, well, my stomach wasn't feeling any better with the change of diet. It wasn't until I went to put on a pair of shorts I wore at the beginning of April while I was on vacation visiting my best friend in Florida, that I honestly really really thought something was wrong. They didn't fit. It's the beginning of May and I went to Florida FOUR weeks ago and wore the same shorts just fine, and now, they aren't even close to being buttoned.
In the middle of all of this, I had an annual exam with my obgyn. I told him that I was having stomach problems. I laughed about how my size 2 frame was slowly creeping to a size 4 while I was reaching my mid-thirties. I joked about it. Because, honestly, a size 4 at 32 years old (after having a baby!) isn't too bad, right? I was laughing on the outside but not too happy on the inside because I was really starting to think something was wrong. It was consuming my entire life.
So I was depressed for a couple of weeks. Cried to my mom a few times. Cried to my husband, like, every night. My body was looking the EXACT same, but I had a belly. i didn't understand WHY I was so bloated when I was eating so healthy! I know anyone reading this is like.... "Are you an idiot?" But let me make a brief statement before anyone starts to judge. My husband and I were told a little over three years ago that we would NOT be able to get pregnant on our own. Our little girl was conceived through fertility treatments. I injected myself with hormones every day for months to get pregnant with her. I do NOT get my period on my own. Our little Harper will be two years old in August and I've gotten my period THREE TIMES since she's been with us. And if that couldn't be any worse, my husband ALSO had fertility problems.
In the middle of May, my mom and my husband convinced me to get a second opinion at another gastroenterologist. I found this doctor through New York Magazine's BEST Doctor's in New York City article published every year. I chose the BEST doctor to go to for my "condition". I explained my situation over the telephone to a nurse and they got me in pretty fast. A week later, I was in to see a new doctor.
I explained my symptoms to him. I told him everything. Told him about the rash, the stomach aches, seeing my internist (TWICE!!!), a gastroenterologist and what he told me to do. I told him I saw my obgyn for an annual exam. This gastroenterologist was the FIRST doctor in months to ask if I may be pregnant. I told him no and explained to him why I didn't think I was. He examined me and when he pressed on my abdomen, I thought I was going to shoot through the ceiling. It was so much pain. SO MUCH PAIN. He left the examination room for a few minutes, came back in and asked me for the second time if my internist had taken blood work and if I'd gotten results back. They had taken blood work and I told him everything came back fine. He then said, and I remember it perfectly: "I want you to get dressed and sit with my nurse. She is going to call the hospital to make an appointment for you to get a catscan of your abdomen. If they have an appointment for you now, I would suggest you go now. If not today, then tomorrow. It has to be no later than tomorrow. I want to see you again at the end of the week."
At this point, I remain calm. I leave the office in a bit of a daze and as I'm on the train, I'm thinking to myself. I have cancer. I have a husband and a great job and a cute baby, and I'm probably going to die.
The next day, I go to the hospital for the catscan. When they call me back, they begin to ask me sets and sets of questions. One of which is "Are you allergic to iodine?" I tell the doctor that I don't believe I am, but that my dad is severely allergic. They tell me I have to premedicate for 24-hours before testing to eliminate any chance of a severe allergic reaction. At this point, I'm totally a mess. I just want the tests done. I leave the hospital with a prescription for prednisone that I have to begin taking immediately, and I need to come back to the hospital in the morning to begin tests.
I get on the train, completely a wreck. Get home and walk to the same drugstore I bought Benedryl in just 11 weeks earlier. When the pharmacist is ringing me up for payment, she looks right at me and says, "You aren't pregnant, are you? If you are pregnant, you CAN NOT take this medication. This medication is harmful to a fetus." I tell her that I'm not pregnant. I pay for the medication and as I'm walking out of the drugstore, I decide to get a pregnancy test just for the hell of it. I buy the cheapest Walgreens brand pregnancy test. I didn't even buy a two-pack! I bought ONE! I get home and ask Harper to come in the bathroom with me while I pee on the stick. The stick that I know is going to be NEGATIVE... but wait wait..... there is a PLUS. YES, THERE IS A PLUS! WHAT? WHAT? WHATTTTT????
At this point, I think I'm reading the test incorrectly. There is NO WAY. NOOOOOO WAY. I'm looking at the box and I'm looking at the instructions. WHY DIDN'T I BUY A TWO PACK?! This can't be right. There is NO WAY!
I call my husband at work. I'm panicked, to put it mildly. I'm having a total nervous breakdown. I'm thinking of all I've done over the past three months. OH MY GOD, could I REALLY be THAT pregnant? NO. NO WAY. I've drank. I've smoked. I've eaten sushi. I've eaten deli meat. Oh God, I've done Pilates! I've drank Metamucil! I haven't taken prenatal vitamins!!!!! So I'm full blown breakdown. I hang up with my husband and call my mom. Now, I'm REALLY having a nervous breakdown. I won't even repeat what I said because I was in absolute shock and probably said things that I REALLY REALLY DID NOT MEAN TO SAY.
Once I calmed down, I called my obgyn as an "emergency" call. Fast forward to the next morning when I'm in his office with the vag wand up my cooch like I had done MANY MANY times before while I was going through fertility treatments. My obgyn mentions that the baby is probably too small for a regular ultrasound. At this point, we have NOOO idea how far along I am. The internal sonogram shows a baby in my uterus! I see an entire body. Head, abdomen, legs, arms and a heartbeat, the little heartbeat. My doctor says, "You're NOT in your first trimester!" We begin to do a regular ultrasound, and it shows: "This baby is 15 weeks and 4 days. Welcome to your second trimester.... almost 4 weeks ago! You are, definitely, PREGNANT!"
We had our first sonogram yesterday. Today marks 17 weeks and 4 days pregnant with our second child. A BOY! We are shocked and thrilled and excited. Needless to say, we are angry at doctors (more to write about with that). We are happy this pregnancy was NOTHING like it was when I was pregnant with Harper. I wasn't sick at all. I mean, obviously, I had some stomach issues. I went to see a gastroenterologist!! But I haven't been nauseated and no puking! And on top of all of that, I look GREAT. I mean, I REALLY LOOK GREAT. I ate so healthy during my first trimester that I only gained 5 pounds in 16 weeks. With Harper, I'd already gained 15 at this stage. I was exercising and drinking a shitload of water (so my skin looks amazing!), and well, gotta say it again, I LOOK REALLY GOOD.
So since my pregnancy is almost half over (!!!!! - yes, that needs 5 exclamations!), it's time to start thinking about our fourth floor walk up to our 900 square foot, 2 bedroom apartment. More on that later.
But WE ARE PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ON OUR OWN!!! NO more fertility treatments ever again in my life. We are thrilled that we got pregnant the way it was supposed to happen, even if it was unexpected. Unexpected is my life. I'd have it NO OTHER WAY.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
GIFT "EXCHANGE"
While I was at the playground with Harper last month, I ran into a mom with her baby whom I'd only seen once before. She explained to me that she was having a birthday party for her little girl and she would like my email address so that she could send us an invitation. I thought it was a very sweet gesture, but I can't lie when I say I also found it strange that she had only met me ONCE and was inviting us to her daughter's first birthday party. I gave her my email address and there the invitation was in my email box a few hours later.
It's a couple of weeks later and I honestly totally forgot about the invitation (which is probably pretty shitty, but oh well!) and our nanny mentioned (and laughed!!) to me that she saw the mom at the playground and she asked if we were going to her daughter's birthday party. Charlie and I discuss the situation and realize that Harper has dance class on Saturday mornings - and while we would have skipped dance if it was actually a "friend" - we decide that we would skip the party and go to Harper's dance class instead. Coincidentally, the next day, I see the mom in the 'hood and she asks me if we're coming. I'm horrible with telling people "no", so I tell her that I need to look at the calendar and get back to her (knowing all along we aren't going).
Within hours, I have an email from her asking me again if we are coming to the party. I write her back just as quickly and explain that Harper has a dance class on Saturday mornings, and while we appreciate the invite, we will be unable to attend. Wait for it.... wait for it....
She writes me back and asks, "Isn't there another day where she can do a makeup class?"
Come again?
At first, I was baffled by this mother's nerve, but then thought that she was so sweet to REALLY just want my AMAZING daughter at her daughter's birthday party. I told her that we would try to work something out, but that we would most likely not be able to attend.
A week later I get another email asking if we had worked something out because she would REALLY love for Harper to be there!
Ok, now it's getting psycho.
The next day, I get an email from one of my REAL mommy friends in the 'hood saying that she was going to a 1-year old birthday party the following weekend to celebrate a child she had NEVER met before. Oh really? SAME PARTY? I think... SO! For a split second, I think that maybe this woman REALLY is just trying to be nice and I am just being a total bitch. So we decide to go. I know, I know.... I AM CRAZY.
A day before the party and I break out in a SERIOUS (I'm talking head to toe, on bottoms of my feet, on palms of my hands, lips swollen, face swollen, 2nd-degree-burn-looking) RASH. Totally another post.... but we obviously CAN NOT GO to this party. I write an email explaining that I'm really sick and we are unable to attend. I was honestly waiting for an email saying... "Well, your husband can come alone with Harper." But THAT email never came.
The email that DID come, a week later, was an email saying she would like to meet up for a gift "exchange". She explained that she had a "goodie bag" for Harper.
Wait, what? Oh yes, you heard it correctly! She even went as far as to ask me if I had a doorman to "exchange" and that she would even meet up with our nanny for the "exchange". It wasn't even about "getting the girls together" for a play-date kinda thing.
So what I'm sitting here wondering at this very moment is:
1) Is this woman for real?
or
2) Is she THAT oblivious?
These questions are questions I will never find the answers to because I am not responding. The gift I really did buy for her child will be sent back to Amazon.com for a prompt refund! Now, we're $20 richer with one less friend who is a whacko mom. Since, you know, I already have enough of those.
While I was at the playground with Harper last month, I ran into a mom with her baby whom I'd only seen once before. She explained to me that she was having a birthday party for her little girl and she would like my email address so that she could send us an invitation. I thought it was a very sweet gesture, but I can't lie when I say I also found it strange that she had only met me ONCE and was inviting us to her daughter's first birthday party. I gave her my email address and there the invitation was in my email box a few hours later.
It's a couple of weeks later and I honestly totally forgot about the invitation (which is probably pretty shitty, but oh well!) and our nanny mentioned (and laughed!!) to me that she saw the mom at the playground and she asked if we were going to her daughter's birthday party. Charlie and I discuss the situation and realize that Harper has dance class on Saturday mornings - and while we would have skipped dance if it was actually a "friend" - we decide that we would skip the party and go to Harper's dance class instead. Coincidentally, the next day, I see the mom in the 'hood and she asks me if we're coming. I'm horrible with telling people "no", so I tell her that I need to look at the calendar and get back to her (knowing all along we aren't going).
Within hours, I have an email from her asking me again if we are coming to the party. I write her back just as quickly and explain that Harper has a dance class on Saturday mornings, and while we appreciate the invite, we will be unable to attend. Wait for it.... wait for it....
She writes me back and asks, "Isn't there another day where she can do a makeup class?"
Come again?
At first, I was baffled by this mother's nerve, but then thought that she was so sweet to REALLY just want my AMAZING daughter at her daughter's birthday party. I told her that we would try to work something out, but that we would most likely not be able to attend.
A week later I get another email asking if we had worked something out because she would REALLY love for Harper to be there!
Ok, now it's getting psycho.
The next day, I get an email from one of my REAL mommy friends in the 'hood saying that she was going to a 1-year old birthday party the following weekend to celebrate a child she had NEVER met before. Oh really? SAME PARTY? I think... SO! For a split second, I think that maybe this woman REALLY is just trying to be nice and I am just being a total bitch. So we decide to go. I know, I know.... I AM CRAZY.
A day before the party and I break out in a SERIOUS (I'm talking head to toe, on bottoms of my feet, on palms of my hands, lips swollen, face swollen, 2nd-degree-burn-looking) RASH. Totally another post.... but we obviously CAN NOT GO to this party. I write an email explaining that I'm really sick and we are unable to attend. I was honestly waiting for an email saying... "Well, your husband can come alone with Harper." But THAT email never came.
The email that DID come, a week later, was an email saying she would like to meet up for a gift "exchange". She explained that she had a "goodie bag" for Harper.
Wait, what? Oh yes, you heard it correctly! She even went as far as to ask me if I had a doorman to "exchange" and that she would even meet up with our nanny for the "exchange". It wasn't even about "getting the girls together" for a play-date kinda thing.
So what I'm sitting here wondering at this very moment is:
1) Is this woman for real?
or
2) Is she THAT oblivious?
These questions are questions I will never find the answers to because I am not responding. The gift I really did buy for her child will be sent back to Amazon.com for a prompt refund! Now, we're $20 richer with one less friend who is a whacko mom. Since, you know, I already have enough of those.
DECISIONS DECISIONS
DATE: 05.04.11 TIME: 11:20 AM
So a couple of weeks ago, I was faced with a decision that no mommy wants to have to face. I had to decide on whether or not to take my 8 month old baby to the pediatrician for a cough or if I should take my beloved 6 year old cat to the vet for his inability to urinate. I know that most people would say “Uh. HELLO? You have a baby and she takes priority over the damn cat!” But when faced with this decision, I took my cat to the vet.
Thank God I did. My sweet kitty had bladder stones, which if they caused a full obstruction, he could have died. I know I did the right thing, but days and now, even weeks later, I feel guilty about this decision.
The bond our kitty has with Harper is just amazing. They honestly and truly love each other. When he was sick and unable to walk, all I kept thinking was “He is going to die and all she will have are pictures taken with him during her first 8 months of life.” The thought of that made me so emotional and still does!
Harper went to the doctor the following day and she was diagnosed with a viral infection which totally cleared up a few days later. My kitty, on the other hand, is still battling his bladder stones and may battle the reoccurrence of these stones for the rest of his life.
Do I feel guilty? YES. But I know, without a doubt, that I made the right decision. And knowing we will have him around for another 10+ years makes me happy.
DATE: 05.04.11 TIME: 11:20 AM
So a couple of weeks ago, I was faced with a decision that no mommy wants to have to face. I had to decide on whether or not to take my 8 month old baby to the pediatrician for a cough or if I should take my beloved 6 year old cat to the vet for his inability to urinate. I know that most people would say “Uh. HELLO? You have a baby and she takes priority over the damn cat!” But when faced with this decision, I took my cat to the vet.
Thank God I did. My sweet kitty had bladder stones, which if they caused a full obstruction, he could have died. I know I did the right thing, but days and now, even weeks later, I feel guilty about this decision.
The bond our kitty has with Harper is just amazing. They honestly and truly love each other. When he was sick and unable to walk, all I kept thinking was “He is going to die and all she will have are pictures taken with him during her first 8 months of life.” The thought of that made me so emotional and still does!
Harper went to the doctor the following day and she was diagnosed with a viral infection which totally cleared up a few days later. My kitty, on the other hand, is still battling his bladder stones and may battle the reoccurrence of these stones for the rest of his life.
Do I feel guilty? YES. But I know, without a doubt, that I made the right decision. And knowing we will have him around for another 10+ years makes me happy.
CHAFING?
DATE: 08.05.10 TIME: 15:58 PM
I’m going to talk about something I never in my life thought I would EVER talk about. Yes, people…. my thighs are rubbing together so badly that I have chafed skin! It’s my upper thighs, but STILL! There is extremely irritated skin in a place I’ve never had irritated skin before.
A few months ago when I realized my legs were starting to rub together, I calmly told my mom that, well, my legs were rubbing together! She thought this was the funniest thing ever and started laughing hysterically. And not one of those laughs like…. “Awww. My babbbyyyyy!” It was more like…. “Bwaaahahahahhahaah!” One of those roaring laughs, as if to almost say “Sucks for you! Now you know how 95% of the population feels!”
I’ve been using baby powder between the legs each day but it only gets me so far (like not even out of my apartment!). But man, yesterday my thighs were REALLY sore! Instead of getting out a mirror and checking out the damage, I asked Charlie to check it out for me. And he confirmed what I already knew…. “Yep! Your upper thighs are chafed!” To which I replied…. “This shit is embarrassing!” I got the same “Bwaaahahahahahah!” laugh that my mom gave me months ago and the laugh was only followed by the comment, “Are you kidding me? You talk openly about your hemorrhoids and you’re worried about your thighs chafing?”
So while I’m admitting all of this… I have to add that I actually wore my husband’s underwear to work yesterday to stop the legs from rubbing together. Good thing all this weight has allowed me to be my husband’s size! Ahhhhhhh!
DATE: 08.05.10 TIME: 15:58 PM
I’m going to talk about something I never in my life thought I would EVER talk about. Yes, people…. my thighs are rubbing together so badly that I have chafed skin! It’s my upper thighs, but STILL! There is extremely irritated skin in a place I’ve never had irritated skin before.
A few months ago when I realized my legs were starting to rub together, I calmly told my mom that, well, my legs were rubbing together! She thought this was the funniest thing ever and started laughing hysterically. And not one of those laughs like…. “Awww. My babbbyyyyy!” It was more like…. “Bwaaahahahahhahaah!” One of those roaring laughs, as if to almost say “Sucks for you! Now you know how 95% of the population feels!”
I’ve been using baby powder between the legs each day but it only gets me so far (like not even out of my apartment!). But man, yesterday my thighs were REALLY sore! Instead of getting out a mirror and checking out the damage, I asked Charlie to check it out for me. And he confirmed what I already knew…. “Yep! Your upper thighs are chafed!” To which I replied…. “This shit is embarrassing!” I got the same “Bwaaahahahahahah!” laugh that my mom gave me months ago and the laugh was only followed by the comment, “Are you kidding me? You talk openly about your hemorrhoids and you’re worried about your thighs chafing?”
So while I’m admitting all of this… I have to add that I actually wore my husband’s underwear to work yesterday to stop the legs from rubbing together. Good thing all this weight has allowed me to be my husband’s size! Ahhhhhhh!
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