Tuesday, September 02, 2008

*DISCLAIMER: I wrote this while riding on an Amtrak train. I had worked all day and then boarded a 4 hour train to go visit my best friend who just had a baby. I was anxious to get there, and extremely reved up because the guy behind me would not get off his cell phone...... the language might quite possibly be the worst language I have ever used in a blog..... this is a warning.....


Why are people so fucking rude?

I mean, really?

Do we need to start taking cell phone etiquette classes in high school? I believe this should be a prerequisite to graduate. Like, you can’t fucking take college classes until you pass an etiquette test in cell phone usage. You know, like those math and english tests you have to take to get placed in college level courses? THOSE are the test these people should be taking.

Should you talk on a cell phone while waiting for that airplane to leave the gate and on to the runway?

Should you talk on a cell phone in a restaurant?

Should you talk on a cell phone when that Q train is above ground and crossing over the Manhattan Bridge?

Should you talk so fucking loud that the entire Amtrak train car can hear your ENTIRE LIFE STORY?

Is it ok to talk on a cell phone on an Amtrak train, airplane, subway train, city bus, in a restaurant if you are able to keep your talking down?

The answer is NO. NO NO NO!

I don’t give a shit if you’ve wiped your ass today or what you’ve eaten for breakfast. I don’t. And I’m sure my husband and all the fucking strangers on that train or plane or bus don’t want to hear it either.

Get the fuck off the phone assholes. Have some common sense.

Monday, August 04, 2008

I was just sitting here at my MacBook minding my own business. I had just reorganized my desk and threw a bunch of junk away because we are getting ready to move next week. Charlie was downstairs going over some freelance stuff with our neighbor. And all of a sudden, while surfing the internet, I heard my cat make a chirping noise. The noise she makes when she sees a squirrel or a bird on our fire escape and she wants to kill it. Except it’s 11 o’clock at night and she isn’t looking out the back window on our fire escape. I turn around and there it was. CRAWLING UP OUR COUCH!!!!!

Possibly the biggest one I’ve ever seen in our apartment. Although Charlie swears that every cockroach in our apartment is big and I say that “it’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen” every single time I see one. Now, you know how most people are scared and freeze? Not me. I don’t give a shit. Everything went flying and there I was, as many times before, running down the stairs in our pre-war brownstone (third floor walkup). Only this time, I was wearing pajama pants I had to hold up and a tank top that was way too big with NO BRA and NO UNDERWEAR! And there I was screaming “CHARLIE!! CHARLIE!!!” all the way down the stairs.

I am not happy about this one. The only relief I am getting from this exact one is the fact that we are closing on a two-bedroom apartment tomorrow morning and my four and a half year battle with these fucking things in my apartment will be coming to an end next week. It’s a reminder to me that although I love this apartment, I will not miss the creatures I see in it. I will not miss breaking out in hives and hyperventilating at the bottom of our stairs (and I’ve seen them there also!). I will not miss the sore throat I get the morning after seeing one because I screamed so loud that my neighbors down the street can hear me!

Again, a big THANK YOU to my amazing cats for being hunters. Bidge for originally finding this one, Charlie for having the courage to come up here blinded by how big it really was (remember, he was downstairs when I came running down to get him!), and Sneetch for once again being my soul-mate animal and grabbing it IN HIS MOUTH and bringing it to the bathroom for Charlie to kill it.