I’m scared to death of cockroaches.

Whenever I tell people in New York City this fact about myself, they laugh hysterically and say “You moved to the wrong city, sweetie!” And I know that the information these people tell me is completely true. Cockroaches are everywhere in New York City, but it’s not something I want or will chose to deal with on a daily basis.

I am telling the truth when I say I’ve been having panic attacks about them lately. Thank the New York City roach-gods that I have NEVER seen one of the filthy things in my apartment. NEVER! I have been blessed with a pretty decent renovated apartment building. One that isn’t infested with mice or cockroaches, although I wouldn’t mind seeing a little furry animal scurrying around every once in a while. (I know, I’m sick.)

But cockroaches are a completely different story.

I have to say, I do see one every once in a while in my place of employment. Usually down in the basement. There are a few times where I’ve had to beg one of my fellow employees to go down to the basement to get me a shipping box. Sometimes, I actually feel strong about them – that if I encounter one that day, I will be completely fine… but when I see one, all the strength is gone. I jump up on chairs, I scream, I have actually gotten tears in my eyes because of these nasty long antenna, little eyed monsters – with their long legs and crunchy blackish-brown bodies.

So help me God, I will not live in an apartment where I will see a cockroach everyday. I will not see one every week, for that matter! After Charlie and I move out of this cockroach-free apartment next month into an apartment that might not be so “cockroach-free,” I will place traps in every corner, under every chair, table, couch, in every cabinet, drawer, nook-and-cranny… I will put a fucking cockroach trap in the bathtub if I have to! I will do anything not to come face-to-face with one of those things that are sometimes the size of a small squirrel.

Then I thought… we’re getting a cat! She’ll take care of it! But then I remembered that cats like to bring their owners “presents.” There were times when I was a little girl when I woke up with a spider or a cricket on me – with my sweet kitty standing there on my bed with a look on her face that said, “Here, I got it for you.” If my new cat does that with a cockroach, I don’t know what I’d do. Just thinking about it makes me feel like I don’t want a cat!

SEE! Now I’m talking crazy!!

I was on the phone with a broker yesterday who is trying to find us an apartment. When she was asking me our price-range and where we wanted to live - I had to hold back saying: “You can find us anything you want! I will live in the ghetto… but that apartment better be free of cockroaches!”

I am obsessed with celebrity sightings.

I didn’t see ONE celebrity during my first 2 months here in New York. I was looking for them everywhere. Charlie even pulled some tricks on me. One time, while walking down Spring Street in Soho, he had this bright idea to scream out….”BECKY! THERE’S FABIO!” And of course, the gullible person I am, I had my head bobbing everywhere trying to catch a glimpse of the long-haired blonde found on the cover of cheesy romance novels. I felt like such an idiot when he started busting out laughing. I was so pissed because I actually thought I was going to see my first celebrity.

But then I got hired to work in a handbag store on Madison Avenue, and the celebrity sightings haven’t stopped since that first day of employment.

My first celebrity sighting was actually on the way to my interview at the handbag store. I was walking between 82nd and 83rd on Madison Avenue when I saw an absolutely gorgeous woman walking with a guy. She looked familiar, but then I just thought that she might JUST be a pretty face. But when I looked up to see who she was walking with, I knew right then… it was my first celebrity sighting. Rob Thomas (the lead singer of Matchbox Twenty) and his wife were walking down Madison Avenue, shopping in antique stores.

Most of my other celebrity sightings have actually been IN the store I work for. During the Christmas/Hanukkah holiday, I was working five days a week and it seemed that the other two days of the week were when the celebrities were shopping in our store. Every time I came back to work after a day off, my co-workers would tell me the celebrity that was shopping the day before. I was starting to get rather aggravated, thinking… maybe I should start working seven days a week! Hey! Better yet - I should start sleeping in the store!

The Saturday before Christmas, people couldn’t get enough of our wonderful handbags! It was so busy, I ran downstairs to eat, and just as I sat down, my store manager beeps me from the phone upstairs and says: “GET UP HERE RIGHT NOW!”

I was hurdling boxes down in the basement - I ran up those stairs so fast, someone would have thought I was in the Olympics! I open the trap door in our store and there, I saw my first HUGE celebrity.

Sigourney Weaver.

A few days later, I met Pheobe Cates (who looks like she is seriously in her mid-twenties). I had no idea it was her until I was helping her for about 10 minutes and I realized… “HEY! This is fucking Pheobe Cates!!! The Gremlins Girl!” She was super cool. I’ve seen her a few other times since then. My New York City best friend, Stephanie didn’t recognize Pheobe either as she was helping her one day. I looked over and mouthed “THAT’S PHEOBE CATES!!!!” She had to contain herself, because even though she is FROM New York City, she still gets just as excited as I do.

In January, I had the pleasure of meeting Kathleen Turner AND Julia Ormond. Kathleen Turner was fun. I asked her if she wanted to be on our customer list and she looked at me with the look I’ve seen many times before in her movies and said “NO!” I laughed with her. Such a completely down to earth woman.

But nothing and I mean NOTHING was to prepare me for the ultimate ALMOST sighting. I was working (of course) when a customer came in and told me that Nicole Kidman was eating in the restaurant across the street. Me and Stephanie went hauling our asses over to the (expensive) restaurant. I have to admit that our sorry-selves were actually seated at a table in the restaurant (when we were supposed to be selling handbags!) just hoping to sneak a peak of the gorgeous actress. We were stalking Nicole Kidman!! We ran out of the restaurant, holding hands, laughing so hard we felt we were going to puke.

Unfortunately, we did not get to see her. But I swear I would do it again in a heartbeat!

Just recently, Charlie and I were walking around and we saw an actor from the Sopranos in a deli on the Upper East Side. Charlie actually saw him when he haphazardly looked into the small deli. He practically started jumping up and down, screaming… “That’s the guy from the Sopranos!”

I looked at him and said… “This is New York City! It’s not THAT big of a deal!”

I caught every train on my way home from work today. I think it might have been God’s way of apologizing for making me walk an extra 9 blocks after I found out there was no 6 train running at the 77th street/Lexington stop. Or it might have to do with…. taxi-temptation!

Each day I get to choose my route to work. When the weather is nice, I take the 4/5 express train up to 86th and I walk nine blocks. If the weather is shitty, which means wind, rain, and/or snow (like it has been very often lately), or if I’m feeling extremely lazy, I walk just five blocks to work from the 77th street station on the 6 train. Tonight, I felt lazy – so I walked to 77th street and as I approached the entrance way to the subway, I saw the dreaded orange tape prohibiting me from walking down the stairs to the whole in the ground.

WHY? Oh WHY does this happen to me!?!

For a split-second I thought about hailing a taxi to take me directly to the A/C stop downtown instead of walking the 9 blocks to catch the 4/5. But I’m telling you, it was just a “split-second” thought. I’ve only taken a taxi two times in the seven months I’ve lived here and I plan on holding that track record for as long as I can in fear that I might become one of those Manhattan-girl snobs who are too good to take the fucking subway like a normal New Yorker. And besides, I don’t pay $70 a month to ride the subway “unlimited” to take taxis. If I’m paying $70 a month to ride the trains, I’m riding that shit as much as I possibly can!

So I walked my nine blocks to 86th street.

I took three trains home tonight and I got every single one within a minute of waiting. The son-of-a-bitch-bastard train (aka – the G train) was even waiting for me as I rode up to the platform! You can just imagine the smile on my face when I saw the G train waiting for the A to arrive before it took off into the ghetto. And believe me when I tell you, THAT NEVER HAPPENS!

But not tonight. I made record time, getting home in less than 45 minutes! I walked in the door and Charlie looked at me stunned…. “You’re home ALREADY!?!?” And it’s all because I didn’t give into taxi-temptation.

Like I said…. “I’m getting that $70 worth” and God knows! Just look - I’m getting rewarded for it.