Everything you do in New York City is harder. Little things you would do in another city, something you would think is so simple, is a huge freakin’ production.
Among these little things is going to K-Mart. Going to K-Mart in New York City is an absolute pain in my ass. I have just gotten on this kick to start working out my arms and as I know I probably don’t need it, why not get in PERFECT shape before summer comes? So I decided the way to start working the small bit of flab I have is to go buy some five pound dumbbells. No big deal, right? WRONG!
I have to take two different trains to get to K-Mart. It takes 40 minutes to get to K-Mart on the subway, which I must admit is a big improvement to my four trains I take to work. I have to inform you before I get into this huge conversation about the pain in the ass it is to go to K-Mart…. that the people that work at the K-Mart at Herald Square is even more of pain in my ass. SPEAK FUCKING ENGLISH, people! THIS IS AMERICA! Ok… enough of my anger with the non-english speakers.
K-Mart is 3 floors in New York City. Yes, 3 floors! The place is absolute chaos. Shit is everywhere. You can’t find anything unless you go up and down the escalator 5 times, and even then, you can’t find what you’re looking for! And as I’ve said above, “me hablo no ingles” or even better, is…. “yo, datts upstayas.” WHICH UPSTAIRS?? The top floor or the middle floor, asshole?
So I go to K-Mart, not only to buy dumbbells, but to purchase some girlie odds-and-ends that I need. (You can probably see where I’m heading with this.) When I’m finally done picking up everything, I realize…. I don’t have a car! I have to take the subway home! WITH ALL THIS SHIT! You must remember…. I was getting 5 pounder dumbbells. I already had 10 pounds of weight on me even before all the girlie stuff! And it doesn’t end there……
Herald Square = Penn Station. And it’s 5pm.
I must have been an absolute ignoramus to think that I could go shopping during the week at K-Mart and go home 40 minutes on two different trains. Just know… people here don’t give a shit whether you are carrying a handful of groceries, let alone two 5 pound dumbbells and some shampoo. People here aren’t giving up their seat on the train for NOTHIN! And if you know New York City at 5pm, it wasn’t like I was just standing up… I was shoulder to shoulder with other people who were standing. You can’t tell if someone is grabbing your ass on the train at 5pm. It’s that crowded.
Needless to say, going to K-Mart is, again, a royal pain in my ass. But you know, sometimes you just need a little work-out.