Wednesday, March 28, 2012

DATE: 06.17.10 TIME: 15:38 PM


And not HOT in the way you are thinking. Although, my husband would say I’m the hottest pregnant woman ever. I’m talking about the hot that causes beads of sweat to form on your face and between your boobs.

The past few weeks have been extremely difficult. Let me map my past few weeks out for you to give you the gist of what has been going on.

1. A woman I work with is always cold. It can be 90 degrees outside and she is in a little sweater in our office. People come in to our office and the first thing they say is….. “Aren’t you hot?” To which I reply….. “Look at my belly. What do YOU think?” It has been a constant struggle to control the temperature in our office. If it gets about 73 degrees, the woman I work with turns off the AC. There have been times where I have found myself screaming out…. “If you turn it off, I think I may die.” So what happened then is whenever I left to use the bathroom (which is often when you are 30 weeks pregnant!), she would turn off the AC and I wouldn’t realize it until it was 78 degrees. *Breakdown #1. (To be continued in future post. And it will be good, I promise you!)

2. My husband and I realized that we could not go this summer without an AC in our bedroom. We have a large unit in our living room on the opposite side of the apartment, but we decided that this summer was the summer to get a unit that will cool us (ME!) in our sleep. At about the same time we decided this, we also decided to buy a 46 inch flat screen television at Best Buy (completely besides the point, but whatever), so we decided to buy the TV and the small AC unit together so they would delivered together. Let me explain that it was Memorial Day weekend and possibly the hottest day we had so far this year. So my love decided to spend the extra money to have the items delivered THAT night (I think he just wanted the TV immediately, but again, WHATEV!). The AC arrives and I’m dancing around the apartment thinking of how comfortable I am going to be sleeping when I hear my husband call out from our bedroom….”Ummm. Baby? Uhhh… the unit is dented. It has to go back.” *Breakdown #2.

3. We decided to take a birthing class to get us (ME!) ready for labor. I didn’t want to do it, but my love said “the more we know, the better off we are!” In other words, “the more I know, the better off I am, but the more YOU know, the more scared you will be!” Hmmmm. We arrive at our “intensive” birthing class - 12 hours of class spread between 2 days. We walk in the room to find out that the AC is…… wait for it…… wait for it….. BROKEN. So yes, I sat in a fucking dungeon of a room, 30 weeks pregnant, 2 days in a row, for 6 hours, with 7 other pregnant women and their husbands, with a broken AC when it was 90 degrees outside. *Breakdown #3.

4. Last weekend, we went home for my baby shower to be held in Virginia Beach which is where both me and my husband are originally from. We go to hail a cab in 85 degree weather to get to the airport right before the skies are about to open. I even said…. “Wow! It’s going to pour! We better get a cab fast!” We get a cab, get in and just as I predicted, it starts to rain. And I’m not talking DOWNPOUR rain, I’m talking WINDBLOWING rain. Like, I’m talking the rain that comes more into your car than outside on the street. Ok… ROLL UP the windows! Then all of a sudden it started to get VERY hot in the car. My husband says to the driver…. “Can you put on the AC?” To which Mr. Cabbie replies….”ahww sarry sur. AC en cab broken.” *Breakdown #4

5. We board the flight to Virginia Beach. We are both very excited to be going home. It was the first trip we were making to VB since the holidays when no one but our families and my best friend knew I was pregnant. We walk up the stairs to our puddle jumper that seats 50 people and as we settle into our seats, I look at my husband and say…. “It’s hot.” He tries to calm me by saying “Once the plane gets going, it will get cool.” Does it? NO. NO IT DOES NOT. So as we are in the air on our 52 minute flight, at about 30 minutes I start to get a little panicked. You know that panicked feeling you get when you feel your skin is about to bubble? That panicked feeling where you feel your blood is literally boiling inside of you? Yah, that was me. And before I knew it, I was dry heaving. My husband (God bless him) had my ipod out of my ears, the puke bag open and in front of me all while grabbing the emergency instructions to use as a fan. Once the flight attendant noticed what was going on, it was smooth sailing from there. She ran and grabbed me a paper towel obviously soaked in melted ice because it was freezing cold. *Breakdown #5.

And yes, this all happened within two weeks of each other. I will not even mention the un-air conditioned subway cars and buses. I won’t even tell you how I hung out with my brother the first day we were in VB when it was 92 degrees outside and he had no air conditioner in his car. HA! Let me just tell you that it’s been HOT. And it’s only June. And I have 8 more weeks to go! Please have mercy on my 8-months-pregnant soul!

*Yes, crying was absolutely involved in all breakdowns.

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