LIKE A DUCK?
DATE: 05.14.10 TIME: 14:31 PM
A couple of years ago, my best friend was pregnant with a little girl while my husband and I were just beginning to try to start our family. She was pregnant right around the same time I am now (baby was born in June, while I’m due in August) and I was lucky enough to see her quite a bit throughout her pregnancy because she was pregnant during the holidays, and I went home to Virginia Beach for her baby shower. I have to look back at that time and seriously apologize for the way I may have made comments to my bestest friend about her clothing and shoe choices. I remember specifically asking her why the hell she was wearing a wrap sweater, to which she replied “It’s comfortable! Shut the fuck up!” And I explained to her that she needs to be wearing some form fitting stuff because by wearing a bulky wrap sweater, she was making herself look bigger than she really was! Which ok, might have been TRUE, but I was being totally insensitive.
So yesterday, I had dinner with one of my dearest, closest friends. Someone I’ve known almost just as long as I’ve lived in New York City. This someone is a person who would NEVER hurt my feelings on purpose and I know her comments are all in good fun… but I gotta talk about it!
Coincidentally, my friend knows someone (a co-worker) who is also pregnant. When I first met my friend for dinner last night, I began to ask her about the woman she works with because I knew she was just about due. She confirmed to me that “yes, she is due on May 22nd (which is in ONE week).” I was like, “Wow! She must be super uncomfortable! Is she still working? Is she huge?” My friend calmly replies, “She is about the same size as you.”
NOW, hooooooolddddd uppppp! Um. I’m 27 weeks pregnant!! What do you mean SHE LOOKS THE SAME SIZE AS ME? I should in NO WAY be looking like someone who is about to pop out a baby at any time. Whew. I let it go. Breathe. Breathe. I mean, what am I supposed to say?
It gets better……. After we ate our dinner. I was trying to talk myself into not getting an ice cream sundae. I mean, when someone tells you (27 weeks pregnant) that you look like someone who is wayyyy more pregnant (39 weeks pregnant) than you are, do you REALLY want to eat a fucking ice cream sundae? I think not!
Before we left the restaurant, I had to get up and pee because I have to pee even when I don’t have to pee (a topic to be discussed in a future post). Look, it was the end of the day, my legs were swollen and honestly, it was a bit hard to walk! I came back to the table when my friend explained to me that she needed to go downtown in a couple of weeks because she wanted to purchase something at a store in Soho. I told her to wait for me - that I’d go with her! Which she replies to me…. “Oh yeah, right. I can see you waddling around Soho. Suuuuureeeee!” A little shocked, I asked…. “Are you serious? I AM NOT WADDLING! Am I really waddling?” She started laughing and said…. “Maybe a little?”
WHAT? SHUT UP!
So let me tell you. There are many many things I’ve learned in these past 6 months, but what I’ve learned the most is that when you see a pregnant woman, you need to tell them how beautiful they look and how ALL the weight is in their belly. It does not matter if their face is twice the size as it was BEFORE they were pregnant or their ass has become a shelf! It doesn’t matter! Because chances are, no matter how hard it was for a woman to get pregnant and no matter how bad she wanted it…. she will always feel a little insecure about the extra weight she has been putting on to support the growth of this being inside of her.
And with that being said…. No, no, no I do NOT want that ice cream sundae. Give me a piece of fruit, please. And actually, maybe I’ll skip that piece of fruit too. I could certainly hold off on that extra 100 calories in that banana!